Moody i guess... or maybe its not...
Well i guess i am a failure in quite a number of stuffs... mainly...
- I fare bad as an OL in persuading my freshies to the GV night... what a disappointment to Majestic and ASC...
- I fare bad as a filial son...
However.. there are still thing that i think i do great... which is doing the above...
Well its not the time to be pessimistic... but whenever situation arises, i just cant stop generating negative thoughts... perhaps i am prepared for the worst... but it just simply affect my moods at times... no matter what, i will still joke and smile haha...
I might have used up all the happiness i had... either i give too much to others, which i think its the priority of my life... or i might have used too much le... it may sound childish, but you would never know... things dont go as smoothly as it is like the past... and i am still suffering from this hardship... deeply drown inside, without the ability to escape...
Nevertheless, i still gotta tell this to a fren of mine that things that u juz cant get hold of it, please let go... its pointless for u to hold on without anything in return... well i might sound as if none of my business attitude, and thinks that say is easier than done... but please think of ur frens surrounding you... they worked hard to crack jokes and make u smile and get u involved, but u simply gave them ur cold blanket... well i isnt here to lecture you, but i just hope that u can learn one thing, which is let go... it hurts for the moment, but it would haunt you forever if you persist in dwelling into it...
Well i need a break in loads of things...
As a reflection, i might need to apologise to my dad with my shitty attitude towards him... however, if i dun use harsh words, how would he understand? he insist in going to work tml, and i noe he cares for the financial stress we are having, but i am more worried that he will have problems, or even accidents when he is driving given his condition now... how am i not worried? i admit that i might not be a filial son... scolding him when he is sick now, but i do it out of good will... i noe i am bad, or maybe he dont understand, but deep in my heart i love him alot and i dont wanna him taking the risk... i am realli in a dilemna now... haiz...
Well tml is GV night and i guess there isnt any freshies going to attend for it... frankly speaking i am super disappointed, but what to do? guess i will still try my best in persuading tml... maybe my persuation skills nid to brush up haha... but i will crash their lecture again lol...
I need to sleep~! only sleeping can ease my worries and refrain it from entering the lala land that i am always suppose to be in...
You're my everything =D