Route to happiness, Still heading towards...

2011-02-12T15:32:00.002+08:00

Move Along

Yesterday was my 23rd birthday. Did not have any spectacular celebration. Just a nice gathering with Eugene, Yanchang and Ah Chui. Thats the company which I wont even expect to meet up on my birthday, but they made time for me. Its really touching. I am really grateful for that. Thanks alot people!

On this day, I found out that my ex-great buddy deleted me on facebook. How nice of him man. Oh well I hope the whole clique will delete me as well soon haha. Make it once and for all. No reasons still. But I know the main thing is, I am fucked up.

I will treat this as a wake up call. I will move on from it. Its definitely disheartening, but guess I deserves it. The only sad thing is nobody actually put themselves into my shoe. All of them think that they deserves the best, but never spare a thought for me. Well I guess thats life. Individualism.

I will cut away my sarchasm. I will just do what I am suppose to do. But I seriously cannot guarantee for another blow up if fucked up things happen again, though I will try my best to control.

Feels like crying yesterday. I realised I seldom have a Happy Birthday. Its just sad things happening one after another. Maybe I really deserves such treatment. But I am really very sad. We shall see how many people will clap for me on the coming cohesion when I will get my birthday card, if there is any.

Today the dwalfies will be coming to celebrate with me. I am really thankful for that. I hope that will drown my sorrow. I really hope so.

Happy Birthday to Baby Lee. I love you and miss you so much. Happy Birthday to Handy. You are my only motivation at work. I love you all!

2011-02-09T23:14:00.003+08:00

Back to work tomorrow.

After a long CNY break, I am finally going back to work tomorrow. The usual excitement is still there because of Handy and the rest of the dogs haha. But I am still feeling very sian to see those people whom I dont like or rather people who dislike me.

I told myself I will change for the better after this CNY break, and I am so gonna do it. Temper is the first thing I must change. Cut that sarchasm as well. I will just engross in my work and thats it. As for the friend/s I have lost, I guess there is no point salvaging since I have tried. All my concentration will be on work and most importantly, my Handy.

I guess days without me is definitely happy for all the people. I understand my presence is not needed definitely. But somehow I know that didi needs me. She is the only purpose for me right now. Well if I can adopt her I will definitely do it, but financially I am not capable to. All I can do now is to give her the best treatment that she deserves. I love you Didi!

Jia you HanQun. Gotta be of my best performance. Please let me be busy! I hate to slack haha! Cya tmr DiDi!!!

2011-02-02T01:26:00.003+08:00

New Post in 2011, an emo one.

Chinese New Year is coming, and as usual I am definitely looking forward towards it. However there are so many depressing stuffs happening to me, and that really makes me feel like blogging after a near 1.5yrs hiatus here.

I simply dont understand how a person can change overnight. From a buddy to a complete stranger. Ya overnight. I thought of like naming him here since nobody knows I am blogging, but I guess cyberworld still has its insecurity. We used to be close (ya sounds gay), and we always help one another out. I know he is a nice guy, so despite the fact that I faced different interests and hobbies, I still try to make do with it and accommodate him. Thats what a friend should do, I guess.

Well things didnt turn out this way. I just feel very puzzled how things can changed 180degree overnight. Did loads of self reflections, trying to figure out whats wrong with me. There must be some reasons that leads to this, but despite so many attempts in figuring out, I failed to find a reason. How strange could it be huh. Well he is not the only one that outcasted me, in fact the other 2 friends of his too. Nice.

I really feel depressed, disappointed and desperate for a reason, so I texted him today. Well he kept his silence still. Why? What wrong had I done to deserve this from you?! I did not do anything at all! Whats wrong with you?! Questions like these wonders in my head. I am really feeling so sad.

I know that I am definitely not well liked amongst peers. I self reflected and realised that there isnt any point for me to build up strong repaul by giving them welfare etc, because the good image built can collapse immediately when sarchasm sets in objectively. I am always the bad guy. But look, life is not always filled with saints. I want to be the good person giving welfare too, but look at whats the fuck up attitude and results people are giving or showing. Dont always expect candies from me if you guys cannot make it to simple expectations.

Just like today, there is this idiot who did a stupid thing. Teasing the dog after he is fed. When it comes to work, this guy will try his means to slack and daze, but when it comes to doing stupid stuffs, he is definitely capable. I yelled at him, because its a surged emotions. He is always doing retarded stuffs and I just try to close one eye, but not this time round though as he simply wont learn his lesson. I made him signed 3, hoping he will learn from it, but doubt so.

Can somebody tell me what to do? I really hope these people ord soon, because I cannot stand most of them. But coming june will be disastrous for me as the most hardworking people will ord, and left those one of a kind people. How are we going to manage? Sigh...

I am so sad at this very moment. Lost a friend for no apparent reason at all. Not well liked. Nobody understanding what I am facing. Poor work performance. How bad can it get still? Must I really isolate myself? I am feeling so down, but there isnt anybody to comfort me, neither for me to confide to. I only left with Handy and Bristol as my only motivation. But how long this can last when so many stupid things is piling up? I really feel like crying now, really. Call me weak, its fine, but I am a human trying so much to pull things together but failed so badly.

I guess I will be emo-ing alone in camp during my birthday as nobody will wish me for that. Its really disheartening. I will try to get over everything, but not for this period definitely. Can somebody be there for me to confide to and lend me a shoulder to lie on? I really really need one, seriously.

2009-08-30T21:35:00.002+08:00

Feels helpless:(

Well i have to say up till now i am the most fortunate among my friends in mp... i got posted to dog wing and ended up doing things that i like and do best - paravet job... i am very happy, definitely... and no matter what i will do my best for the unit and the dogs there... gotta be productive starting from tomorrow:)

Family problems just make me feel so down... scolded my dad just now... i think i nid anger management, but how am i not flared up when up till just now he still haven feed baby dinner? i wasnt at home, but he is idling at the sofa there watching tv. i always felt damn sorry and sad after scolding him, but i cant help it, seriously... feeling remorseful is due to the fact that he is my dad, but i still cant help but to scold him for all the stupid things he has done, or things he should have done it but didnt... he was once a stroke patient, i understand, but how can a stroke change a person's personality so much? who can give me an answer? i tried all means to understand him, give in to him etc... not that i didnt do anything but look what i got? i am sure there will be people saying i am unfilial, but who cares for me? i am taking all the burdens and loads... which 21year old guy have to go through what i am going through? i doubt among my friends nobody need to...

I am very tired... really dead tired... trying to earn as much as possible to meet monthly needs, but the results is always negative... i cant earn much bcuz of ns... but i always understand what is call a vicious cycle... i foresee that i will step into this and dunno when then i will be able to escape from this cycle... probably i will have to thank god that i dont have a girlfriend... nobody to confide to but nobody to take care too... less one burden haha... i believe i can multi-task as of now... but when will i collapse i dont know...

No matter what i will still do my best to be the pillar of support for my parents, especially my mum... she needs me definitely, and i need her too... not that i dont love my dad... i love him thats why i wanted to correct him... but if he is still that persistent, i dunno what can i do... as for my brother, sometimes i wish him better off dead... i apologise for my harsh words, but i seriously dunno what to say about him... life with or without him doesnt make a difference... or probably there is... with him my life is more miserable... thats what i can say...

I am feeling very down... very very down... i need to stand still, but i am very tired... trying hard, really very hard...

2009-08-30T01:07:00.002+08:00

Still no appetite:(

First of all gotta thank those people for their concerns haha... really appreciated it... yesterday was really a bad day for me... cant wait for polyclinic... went straight for private one... cost me 64bucks... troubled mum to wake up early too bcuz i am too weak to go alone... puked while i was on the way there, even though its like near my house...

Meanwhile i still have yet to fully recover... feels like eating something but just dont have the appetite, or worst still eat already feels like puking it out... hopefully i can recover by tomorrow man... working on monday... gotta put my best performance in work becuz it concerns about those cuties in my workplace:)

Well i shall take this illness as a blessing in disguise... i got to slim down haha... but if anyone were to see my face on friday they will be stun... i looked damn pale... i thought i will faint in the toilet haha...

Brought baby out just now... she dont have that energy to walk much... though i can see from her eyes she is trying her best, but yea she cant even stand up, let alone walking... walked abit but ended up bringing her back home by carrying her back... my heart was broken... i will do anything for her definitely, but i just cant bear to see her suffering... everytime she look at me, and i mean everytime... i really wanto know what she wanted to tell me.. she seems to have load and loads of things to say, but yet she is restricted by her ability... i tried all means to understand, but somehow we just cant reach a consensus.. its not that i dont understand her well, but this time round she is like having more than usual to say... i believe i will get to understand her, but just hope that its not too late by then...

You're my everything baby...

2009-08-28T06:01:00.002+08:00

Bad Diarrhea and vomiting...

Wierd time to blog now but i woke up at 4plus till now... diarrhea followed by vomiting then diarrhea again... plus a very bad twist in my abdomen... since 2am plus i vomited n shitted... 4am plus wake up again to carry on the same routine... now i am half dead... am waiting for the polyclinic to open at 8am, so dont intend to sleep actually...

Gotta recover asap... really feel damn weak now...

2009-08-25T21:46:00.003+08:00

POP loh!

Yeaps! POP-ed yesterday.. finally i got my 3rd stripe after 34 weeks... faints! i left less than 10mths to ord haha... nevertheless, i will contribute as much as possible to dog wing haha...

Today is the 1st day in dog wing... really feel damn lost haha... thank god the people there are quite nice... and chengchong is there too! hope he can guide me along haha... heard from warrant raja i should be able to do paravet job... hopefully man haha... thats what i hope to do all along...

Its just one day and i start to miss those people around me... i need to get used to them not around me... haha...

Well yesterday had a mixed feeling even though i pop-ed... first is because passing out means i have to leave my closest clique in mpts... am very happy because finally i am a 3rd sgt.. the other thing is family problems... i felt damn emo last nite... even up till now i still feel emo.. i really feel very tired... very very tired...

I need enlightenment... I need help...

2009-08-23T02:58:00.002+08:00

Dog Wing... Here I Come!!!

Well monday will be my POP day! Finally i am getting my 3sgt... after so long! even CPT Goh oso said 'finally' to me while presenting the passing out cert to me... i am delighted... really felt a sense of accomplishment... most importantly, i met alot of nice people whom we are getting along very well haha...

Posting! I got posted to dog unit wahaha!!! thats like my ultimate goal and i got it... no other words can describe how happy i am when i got my posting... however in chinese we say 几家欢喜几家愁... there bound to be people being unhappy or disappointed with their posting... my good friend was one of them... i felt very sad for him when he cant get his desired posting, but well life still goes on... maybe get posted to that place is a blessing in disguise, just like i failed ASLC haha...

Though i got posted to dog wing, i still feel damn worried about the life there because i am afraid the people there are not as nice as mpts... but well i believe i can adapt... it just takes time! jia you to me... and jia you to all my friend!

Today went out with Guanhua and Zhilun for k-session! finally haha! it was damn funny cuz today we zao-sia like nobody business... especially me wahaha! but i am damn happy to sing wahaha! feels rather bad when i cant join them for the timbre session... hopefully i can meet out real soon with the rest..

I am damn tired now... but for some reason i just wanna blog right now... cant think much though haha... think i should sleep now... nitez...

2009-08-15T17:49:00.002+08:00

So many worries, so unhappy, so...

Feeling very down now... not at this specific moment, its all along like this... well i always think that i am a good actor sometimes because i can just show off the happier side of mine and entertain people... however sometimes i just cant help but to emo in front of my friends... i apologise for that, but i just need to vent things out...

My closest friends will always know what my top worries are and some of my unhappiness... needless to say, baby's condition is a constant and prolong worry for me... that's my top priority in life right now... i only got one big head, but yet the worries and problems i have is filling it to the max... probably one day i will explode and breakdown...

Initially i wanted to meet zhilun n guanhua for some singing session.. but due to my bad throat and slight fever, i have no choice but to call for a cancel... really feel like singing! argh haha...

Tonight will be a night of TV haha... and i also wanto pack my room because it's in a disastrous state again! faints...

I will be fine... I will be ok... Hopefully:)

2009-08-08T14:39:00.002+08:00

It's another disappointment...

I always try not to infiltrate my blog with my emo-ness... but it seems that this time round i failed again.. but well think positively wise i still got a place to vent my frustration...

Another hand raised animal died in my care... its a curse... the condition looks pretty stable, so i named it... yes it died after i named it... the poor changable lizard... haiz its not the first time... but i am still very sad... i believe that there bound to have people blaming me for not taking good care of it... i will just shut off my senses towards their critism if any, bcuz i did my part...

MLM is finished... a very tired one definitely... my csb is literally csb... carry sandbags... faint... well get to see LOADs of true colours and i definitely wont hesitate to F ppl off... i am always like that... dont breach over my patience limit... cuz its just courting your own death... nevertheless i am very satisfied with my performance... i persevered throughout and i definitely can say i am very proud of myself... got so much to comment but well shall keep it to the next post if i remember... i am happy with my effort... but was rather disappointed bcuz i put in so much effort but it wasnt recognised due to the fact that the appointment i held wasnt 'striking' enough haha... well i guess that's life... i think people out there is so much better than me ba, thats why i cannot stand a chance haha... think positively, cannot be the best means i can continue to improve... now i hope my best cliques can get what they deserve to:) jia you andre, zhilun and jeremiah!

Anyway my frens they are going to club tonight... feels like joining them but yea its not within my capability... my bestest frens will know what i mean... tonight will be eating titbits and watching guess3 wahaha!

2009-08-02T16:25:00.002+08:00

Its coming soon!

Yea went out with guanhua and zhilun yesterday... watched Hangover... damn funny show... shall not be a spoiler here but i strongly recommend people to watch it haha... its really damn funny, and uh hmm...

Had mahjong last night too! goodness its been so long since i touched it wahaha... won 105 bucks! shiok haha... the mahjong ended damn late though haha... was freaking tired after that...

Tuesday is the start of mlm... feels worried cuz still got loads of things unsure... well i will give in my best shot:) i seriously hope all my bestest friends can score well and get their desired posting... jia you zhilun and andre!

Booking in later... mum still possesses GREAT phobia against that changable lizard that was found in my camp... nevertheless i will convince her muahaha!

Gotta mug abit... dun wanna get screwed by people... good luck to me:)

2009-08-01T00:01:00.003+08:00

A good rojak of feelings...

Finally i am back to my course haha... after a 2wks MC... and i wasnt ooc-ed... so i really feel damn happy... not only happy, but more to appreciative... really thanks to those people who are willing to help me... especially staff terry haha... thanks alot to my friends too:)

Well there are ups and downs when i am back of course... maybe i am being too sensitive, OR maybe some other people being too unsensitive... i still think that the latter one is more valid... was really pissed off on wednesday regarding some issues, despite the fact that we are having nights out... oh well i still think that i did the correct thing, but i hope those people who always dont spare a thought for other's feeling will do so in future, cuz it sucks... worst still, knowing the fact that u did this is wrong, and yet purposely ask for forgiven... well i will only give u 2 words - NO WAY.

Dad called me yesterday and said that baby is not doing good... i was very worried definitely... i really feel very scare because i hope nothing will happen to her... she is my love one and i cant afford to lose her.. the worries simply made my eyes tear uncontrollably... thanks so much to andre, zhilun and guanhua, for being there to give me their warm consolation...

Anyway the 1st thing i book out today was to rush back and see baby's condition.. not that good as compared to last week because her stomach is very bloated and her body is not that strong... nevertheless she is still hanging there and her affections touches me deeply... i really love you baby...

Found 1 lizard in indoor range on monday... if i am not wrong its a changable lizard.. its rather cute i would say, but baby animals are all adorable haha... shall try to raise it, oops i think i indirectly made it as a pet haha... shall not give any names now until the condition is stabilised..

Tml i am going out with zhilun and guanhua for some karaoke session.. but i am having a bad throat still haha... well i cant sing anyway, am i right zhilun?! so it doesnt make any difference i guess haha... but going out with them is fun haha.. just like the dim sum outing 2wks ago haha...

Alrights shall continue nix time then... probably tml lol... gor gor loves you baby:)

2009-07-19T23:55:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow Tomorrow Tomorrow...

Yeapz... i am going back tml haha... as what previous post had said, i am freaking worried that i will ooc.. this is indeed a heart burning issue for me... verdict will be out soon, as fast as tomorrow... we shall see how then...

And yes, wondering whether the MO will give me ATT C again... please dont... i want to go back, for good!

Good luck to me...

2009-07-19T02:23:00.002+08:00

A sudden surge of emotions...

Went out with my friend in mp spec course for dim sum buffet... feels so good when i see them... its been so long since i last sit down and talk cock with them... well i hope nothing happens to them... praying hard haha...

We had dim sum buffet... and yes it was the same one that me and jinshun etc went during that time after our bpharm exam (last paper)... wow which is like going to 2years? time flies... dim sum was great! i love it haha... but what's more important is meeting the gang haha... they are the few that i always hang out with in camp... i never actually talk to them for like 2wks at least... at most we talk through phone and smses haha...

Went for lan game afterwards... oh ya... that was my 1st time entering lan gaming shop and play... well it sounds like i am damn behind time, but yes, i do feel younger just now.. like maybe 2-3 years old? oops i start to feel old... goodness haha! age is catching up though i am only 21...

Why do i say there is a sudden surge of emotions? mmm... well seeing my buddies in army makes me feel happy... but the latest update so far about my situation is that my superior had just left and here comes a new one... the previous superior said that he will try his best to allow me to stay in course... but well the new one has a different perspective... i am freaking worried that i will get kicked out because of my H1N1 status... since i already MC-ed for 2weeks... out of the 13 wks course... my mind is filled with this issue... maybe that's my last time seeing them as plt mates and when i go back eventually on mon (if the medical officer allows) and there comes the verdict - HanQun you are officially OOC-ed wef today... maybe i am thinking too much... but its difficult not to think if anyone of you were in my shoes... well i just feel that if i really get ooc-ed, i might as well stay as a corporal forever (since i am still drawing corporal pay still)... we shall see how ba haha... trying to stay optimistic is the best way to get out from this pessimistic thoughts... trying, literally...

Oh ya... as i said.. time flies... though i am 21, but it makes me feel like a 30 yr old man... 11 more months i am going to step into the society... cant get into any local uni, so gotta study private... no money to study overseas also... am starting to get worried that i cant get a job i love... i just hope that i can go back to zoo and work.... just hope that they will continue to employ me... i have plans... but there's a chinese saying -计划赶不及变化... just hope that i can come out with a more perfect and constructive plans with alternatives before i ord... its good to get prepared anyway...

Have been thinking why i never study harder last time during poly... ended up with results that is 比上不足比下有余... well if vivien is reading my blog, please study HARD in poly... i mean it... it doesnt guarantee you a place in local govt uni, so please study hard so that you wont have regrets like me okie!

Alrights... shall end here... its late.. i am going back on monday 11am... we shall see whats the verdict has to say then haha... am praying hard and hope everything will be fine...

2009-07-17T03:30:00.002+08:00

Another 2 days MC...

Well at this time i shouldnt be awake haha... but just had mahjong with kang hwee, sandra and daniel... goodness finally i get to touch mahjong muahaha!!! lost 18 dollars though... bo pian haha... am so happy that i can get to play mahjong lor haha!!!

Anyway got another 2 days ATT C from the medical officer today... he asked me whether i have anymore symptoms.. i just say i left with SLIGHT cough only... he gave me another 2 days mc straight, without any hesitation... i wanna join back seriously, that's why i asked whether can give me light duties instead... but he rejected... am freaking worried that i will get OOC-ed... praying hard that i can still stay in the course... 2wks mc is too much... i understand that alot of people wanted this badly haha... but given the fact that i love my vocation and course so much, i really want to go back as soon as possible... not wayang, its just plain interest... we shall see how ba... really dun want to leave my friends...

Meanwhile i should continue resting... and probably do some reading on the syllabus tomorrow... every single day i am at home, the worries increase proportionately...

2009-07-15T23:33:00.003+08:00

Looking forward to tomorrow...

Am going back tomorrow after another extension in ATT C haha... hopefully MO will allow me to join back... really misses them haha... especially my SCB lol... people might be wondering what is SCB... in mp we use alot of acronyms.. SCB means... SUCK COCK BUDDY MUAHAHA! well it can be read as standard chartered bank though loll...

Feel rather worried because i lost touch with the syllabus and it will be difficult to catch every bit back... MLM is coming so i think i needa put in the extra effort to know what's going on... before myself being badly hit back by surprises haha... jia you to myself...

I am making a comeback! after a 8days ATT C lolll...

And yes, baby lee... stop giving me that innocent look when u wanna get food from me okie! its too cute!

2009-07-14T22:50:00.003+08:00

I AM BACK...

Yeaps i am back after a 5 months hiatus from my blog haha... it seems like this year i posted less than 10 posts... well too lazy to blog... now i am back and i hope i can put in more posts haha... just feel like blogging... think that back to the basic way of venting things out haha...

Too many things happened during these 5 months... so many that i cant list every single one out (well some i've forgotten)...

Changed to a new blogskin... love the pigs lol... simply too cute! black and white... mmm... oops no racism remarks here haha...

I am still recovering from H1N1 influenza A... yes i got it... i am one of the 'lucky' person in singapore to contact that... don't ask me how i got it, cuz i have been pondering over this but i cant find an answer to it... reported sick on last monday for high fever... 40.1 degree celsius... burning hot... wednesday the medical centre called me and informed me that i am a H1N1 influenza A positive patient... just need to self quarantined at home... yesterday i went back to the medical centre, the MO further extended my ATT C... hopefully thursday i can join back and HOPEFULLY I WONT OOC... i really like my course...

Oh ya, forgot to update.. i got posted to military police... cant talk much about it though... but will try to update things that is not sensitive haha... i am very happy there... that's one of the happiest moment in ns life i would say:)

During this 1wk plus mc, i am boring but yet happy since i can get to rest at home and most importantly, with baby lee... she is simply too cute la! cannot stand that stupid face of hers... haha! well i really love her... seeing her happy now is my goal.. i just want her to spend the rest of her life as a happy dog... i will do whatever it takes to let her be happy:)

18 April 2009 was the darkest day in my life... Baby was diagnosed with lymphoma... its been 3months now and she is still surviving... heaven is blessing her i guess... i am so happy with her current condition.. though she is bloated but she is not coughing that much now... i hope she can continue to live on, each and every single day is a blessing:)

Got too much things to say.. but need to plan it out... i guess i just post this much can le ba haha... if i remember anymore significant stuffs then i will post it out...

2009-02-22T17:48:00.003+08:00

I AM BACK!

Yea finally i am back from Taiwan on friday midnight, after 3wks haha... its a great experience there afterall... had fun actually... things werent as bad as i tot initially... just up n down the hills, like dunno how many times haha... my leg muscles are solid hard now LOL!

Saw alot of true colours as usual haha.. but that doesnt bother me cuz i cant be bothered afterall lol... as i said this place isnt a place for me to find true friends cuz i find it difficult to find one actually haha... unlike bslc... well its going to be over soon, and i dont tink i can pass out oso, so heck it haha!

R n R was great, but not enough time la haha... nix time i shall go with my family! haha... btw i had the bestest chicken cutlet i ever eaten haha... and the bestest milk tea i ever drank lolll... singapore's one cannot compare with them la... in terms of price and quantity and QUALITY haha! love it man... cant get over it haha! shall post more pictures once i got them lolll..

And yes! I had my 21st birthday in the forest haha... was quite emo that day, moreover i was the sect com.. busy upside down inside out haha... nvm i got over it quite fast, thanks to the training cuz i dont haf the time to think about my birthday haha! probably i was too tired to think about it ba haha...

Thanks to my family... they made steamboat for me on saturday man! wooh! haha... mum n dad is the best la haha... the feeling of home is superb!

Somehow some wishful thinking haha... tot my frens would ask me out on saturday, but well that's my wishful thinking haha... so i actually slept my day out on sat lol... how sad can it be man... well its okie... find it rather saddening but that's it.. shall end the sadness if i can haha... its hard not to think about it, but some things are better well forgotten... not angry, just disappointed...

Happy 21st to me, a very belated one LOL...

2009-01-30T23:16:00.002+08:00

Going Taiwan later~

Yupz i am going to taiwan for training hahahaha... super nervous now cuz this is my first time taking plane... ya dont laugh at me lol... well i really hope everything will be smooth and safe while going and coming back... and hope that my life there will be safe and sound haha...

Last but not least i hope that everything at home can be resolved.. i am very down now but nobody i can confide to during my trip to taiwan... just hope the best for my family...

Alrights gotta cut everything short haha... hope everything will be good! haha...

I will miss my dad, my mum and baby lee!

2008-12-31T22:34:00.002+08:00

Goodbye 2008, Hello 2009...

Wow it seems that i blogged once every 3 months lolll... yes, its been 3 months since i last blogged... and during this 3 months, alot of things happened definitely. 1st i completed my 28km route march during BSLC... and i am proud of myself for completing that haha... The days in Charlie company was tough but fun, and its so much better than BMT. I managed to find friends or rather buddies that are selfless and fun.

Happy times passed very fast, and 8 weeks just passed like a glimpse of light. I was posted to ASLC. Never did i realise that i would be posted there, but thats already a fact and nothing can deny it. I was posted to delta company. Till now, frankly speaking, I am still very depressed over the fact that i got into ASLC. And worst still, there is no motivation at all and everyday i am just feeling very depressed. I need someone to talk to but there isnt anyone inside camp for me to confide. I cant tell my parents cuz i dont want them to worry over my unhappiness, and i dont wanna trouble my frens cuz i noe that they have their own commitment. Its really very sad inside, though i always joke and crap, but thats just my outer part. Deep inside i am feeling very emo. Well, training is getting tougher and tougher, and i am going to taiwan soon! Good luck to me ba:)

Alritez i shall reminisce what i've done or acheived during year 2008 haha...

Year 2008 was a simple but yet a fruitful year to me actually... i graduated from Temasek Polytechnic haha... and managed to have a wonderful place for my internship, and thats Singapore Zoological Gardens. I even managed to extend my stay there after my internship by continuing to work part time there... thats 9months was really fun and i made alot of great friends there! i learnt loads of stuffs too... that was my bestest moment in my life man! And i would take this time to thank ppl like Dr Serena, Dr Oh, Dr Sonja, Dr Anwar, Dr Lita, Feza and Mulyadi. Basically these are the people in veterinary department haha... they are really super nice to me and taught me loads of stuffs! i am really blessed to noe them...

Everything come to an end because i have to serve the country... and i got enlisted during 12june into Ninja company... my fats reserved are well burnt off during that period hahaha... and till now still burning lol... Following Ninja coy was charlie coy and then delta... all the siong one but i am still alive not dead... half a year has gone and still left with 1.5yrs haha... time pls fly! lol...

I have to thank my bestest friends who are always around me! Thankew Wenxi, Terence, Serene, Yvonne and Weegek and many many more!

Last I must thank my dad and mum and my baby lee!!! haha... they never fail to give my their love and support haha... and i will always love them:)

Alritez shall make my new year resolutions... hopefully i can acheive them one by one haha...

1) Financial probs at home can be resolved.
2) Dad and mum and baby lee can be healthy and happy.
3) A Braun Buffel wallet.
4) An itouch or iphone.
5) Continue to slim down haha...
6) Get posted to somewhere slack.

I guess there will sure be more to come along the way but these are what i can think of right now haha... hopefully everything can be acheived and come true:)

Happy New Year everyone!!!

2008-09-28T15:45:00.002+08:00

The worries continue...

Back from SISPEC... thank god there is no 2 weeks confinement, if not i will just die inside haha... and ya, got into a siong company once again! Charlie coy... all along i only thought bravo and delta is the siong one... so when i got into charlie, i was delighted and felt relieved. BUT I WAS WRONG... the moment i saw my sect com, the fate is sealed... i guess the next 8 wks will be disastrous... meanwhile 1 wk had passed... everything is still copable... but who knows what will be going on for the nix 7? beats me haha...

Got confined for the 1st week due to the fact that i failed my ippt haha... wad to do... pull up still chui haha... ippt started straight away when i came back from guard duty... but i dont think i should give any excuse to make me feel better, cuz i noe i sucks in pull up haha... gotta train hard for it... cuz nix time if never get silver for ippt, sure confine for corrective training... think i will have loads of confinement...

Speaking about corrective training.. yesterday's training was fun.. conducted by Staff sgt john... a super nice guy haha... heng he is my platoon one lolll... guess what he asked... who stayed sengkang and hougang area!!! i raised up my hand and he initiated to ask sgt derrick to send us back home muahahah... care for soldiers! haha... thats something worth to be happy about sia lolll... no nid to take train and bus until my butt rots lolll..

Now my main worry is baby lee... she might have a mammary gland tumour... i am really super worried cuz she is my everything... i cant afford to see her suffer... if anything happens to her, i think i will be OOC... cuz i will be too depressed to continue training... haiz... praying hard that nothing happens to her... Ti Gong pls bless her...

I love you baby...

2008-09-21T19:49:00.003+08:00

Then and Now...

And yes, i am finally back to my blog.. after a super long 'hiatus' haha... i am not resting actually, so probably that shouldnt be called a hiatus haha... however, this 12days of block leave did let me replenished all the energy i had lost during BMT days lolll... credits to my beloved parents and baby lee, my friends and of cuz mahjong haha!

Pop-ed on 9th sep 2008, and that marks another stage of my life... its another milestone that i had acheived and i would never forget those shit that i went through during the 13weeks BMT haha... posted to Ninja coy wasnt what i expected myself to be, moreover the training isnt something that i expected myself to pass through.. but ya, i had made it! its indeed a proud moment for me and my family... pushing myself through all the limits that during normal days i wouldnt have expected myself to make it through haha! the 24km route march just before graduation parade is indeed memorable! FBO during graduation parade haha...

13wks of fun, joy, love, hate, shagness, and many more haha... i find myself a rather quiet person inside BMT... thats a big contrast with the civilian me loll... i am a super loudspeaker and lame person during civilian life, but when i am inside BMT, i am very quiet haha... alot of reasons made me being so quiet, but i doubt i will list them all down haha... of cuz i do make alot of noise sometimes, just trying to be irritating LOL... and most remarkable one was to irritating my platoon mates with my singing - BLEEDING LOVE LOLLL...

I would have said i grew up alot inside BMT, both physically and mentally haha... i realised how human tend to display selfish behaviour when they are in tense situation... of cuz i am not a saint, i do display those selfishness behaviours at times too haha... but u will reflect upon what u had done more when you are inside, and this indeed makes you grow up...

There are actually alot of things i wanna share in this post, but i am too tired oso haha... guess i will continue next time ba... tml i will be booking in to my new unit! SISPEC haha... hopefully i can get into a welfare coy haha... and most importantly i hope i can make it through for those trainings haha...

My mood now is actually pretty down... going to book in always make me emo lolll.. i need time to adjust for that though haha... but what makes me so worried and sad is my beloved doggy Baby... was playing with her this afternoon and realised that she had a small lump on her nipple... and i am worried that it might be an onset of mammary gland tumour... she is 6.5 years old now, and its actually 'time' that she can develop these... cockers spaniel are of higher risk as well... this makes me so damn worried that those worries i am having for SISPEC are replaced by her body condition... i have always been thinking i had not done enough things for her, especially when i am enlisted to army also... and now if she really have tumour, it will be a disastrous hit on me... i had to monitor her conditons, but i am not at home... who else can help me do that? nobody... parents dont know anything about it... what can i do? how i wish i can bring her along to my camp site... childish thoughts but hard to abolish it from my head right now...

Baby, u must be fine okie... i will try my best to help you...

2008-06-29T14:31:00.002+08:00

I AM BACK~

Yes i am back from the 2 weeks confinement period in NS haha... its been so long since i last blogged, but i think i will make this post short cuz i dont have much time since i am booking in in less that 4hours time haha...

Well alot of things to update but i shall focus on my NS life then haha... met alot of people, from all walks of life haha... training was tough but still managable, however i fell sick... had a very bad flu and cough (which ppl say is tekong cough)... it has not recover even till now... and i am shooting mucus all day long haha... imagine mucus with blood... faints... think i am over heaty already... i realli wanto recover so i wont be a hindrance in training as my progress is slower than others...

Still trying very hard... hopefully i can recover by tonight, which is impossible haha... and training will be tougher! and more discipline will be put into place from tomorrow onwards... wish me best of luck man!

2008-04-22T22:41:00.007+08:00

Rest In Peace Ratfles...

Ratfles is a common rat born probably around 1 week ago... some people found it and i accepted it and promised that i will hand raise this little boy... yupz its a common rat and to many people, putting down is the best option ever... but to me, i believe that if i can save a life, why not? it is true that rats are pest, but they have their cute side as well... what's my plan is i am going to hand raise it until it is big enough to be released, or even keeping it as a pet if time allows, but ya, all these plans ended today.

Just yesterday i had a fight over this issue with some annoying personnel in zoo... well he is notorious for been the most annoying person ever... its my courtesy that i have to tell him that there is a rat donated, and prior to that, there is a snapping turtle donated as well. this guy told Dr Oh that we have to accept every animal that is donated. so we accepted that rat too. well never did i expect that idiot to blasted and insisted that i have to put down that fellow. i strongly disagreed of cuz. suggestions like this rat can be fed to the leeches came up and i ignored that totally.

So Ratfles stayed with me since sunday... i gave him milk and yogurt and he is simply too adorable... everytime i wanna put it back to its cage, it refuses to leave my hands and soon he will fall asleep soundly on my hand... and all these little actions making me getting more and more affectionate with him...

Today i tot of bringin him to work since nobody at home can take care of him... but i was stucked in a traffic jam... the bus is too cold and i cant do anything to keep him warm... its all my fault for been such a bad care taker... i simply suck... i just cant forgive myself for that... when i wanto feed him in the morning after the meeting, i sensed something wrong.. he is shivering and breathing abdominally.. i brought it for pure oxygen but it din recover much... i use warm pad to provide warmth but nothing much i can do to help him... he is struggling for his last breathe and eventually, he left for heaven on my palm... i holded back my tears and tried to cool myself down, so i went to wash the dens and do my work... but i just cant do it... the tears just roll down along my cheeks while i am cleaning Inca's den... and yupz i am holding back the rest... plan to cry when i am going home... but when i told Anwar about the death, the tap in my eyes was turned on and tears flow down like river... yupz i looked silly crying over a rat, but its my 1st hand raise animal and the affection i have with him is so deep... sorry but thanks to anwar, lita and mulyadi for been there with me while i am crying like a baby...

In the evening, i buried Ratfles behind the ward... I really hope that he will be living happily in heaven as an angel... Goodbye Ratfles, thanks so much for bringing me this wonderful but short memories... I am so sorry...

Rest In Peace Ratfles... You will always be part of my memory and always be in my heart...

2008-04-07T23:39:00.003+08:00

Recent updates lol..

I realised that shrinking picture allows me to post it faster... okie i know i am kind of dumb for saying that haha... but forgive a computer idiot okie wahaha!

Anyway i shall upload the pictures when i am in zoo and outside zoo.. erms... abit jiao wei LOL... i will take more pics and upload more in future liao haha...

Preparing food for my dearest animals...

Picture was secretly taken by Carol...

Hanging around in the hospital... I kind of forgot wad joke i was saying haha...

I am holding a green iguana... Look at feza's face LOL..

Microchipping a Royal Python...

Doing Post Mortem on a Hog Deer...

Do I look like a professional pathologist? LOL...

Oh No! The drown pelican is taking its revenge...

To me as well :(

Dont mess with me!

Doing PM of the Sealion with Dr Oh and Anwar...

Washing up...

At Marie's BBQ...

At Beach Road with Dr Reza, Anwar and Carolina..

Soup Tulang..

Cockles...

The Sucker observing how the other sucker suck...

2 suckers suck together...

At Marie's place... Din noe that i was taken in this pic again haha...

Smile!

2008-03-27T15:23:00.004+08:00

Praying hard...

Had my interview today at Ministry of Education for the NTU-NIE program haha.. I doubt I will be selected cuz i am too normal for their expected answer I guess... maybe even abit politically correct haha... nevertheless, i tried my best and i haf no regrets haha... but i know i wont pass the interview definitely haha... there are alot of far much better interviewees there... those can communicate well with the interviewers and u can hear laughters from the interview room lol...

Praying hard that i will get in~ lolll...

Oh well i am going to start a parasites program and maybe even a blog lol... will try to take as many pictures of parasites as possible haha... this is something i hope i can do for zoo before i leave lol...

Argh still pondering when i will noe the rejections lol... maybe soon ba... we will see how... really hope i can post things like I GOT IT!!!, or I PASSED hahaha... everybody pls pray hard for me oso okie LOL...

Last nite i went to serangoon garden to meet gor... nid to borrow shirt and belt from him for today's interview haha... then saw uncle john, helen and ah pin gor gor... super funny

Had my 3C from Happy Daze haha.. but i din realise that i will be going into the pub and stay with gor they all... i just though that i will take my stuffs and leave, thats y i went to buy 3C haha... but well, i just bring that 3C into that pub...

They have a pool competition, but gor and uncle john lost in the semi final... all i can say is that they are just pure unlucky! but gor is really good man haha.. need to learn from him liao haha..

Its oso super funny to see them drunk haha.. esp ah pin gor gor haha.. damn funny pls... luckily i bought bread and ate before i come, if not i will have a bad hang over after i drink the coke + whiskey (gor gave)...

Had fun last night and 1st time go out with gor to this type of places man haha... but i dont like to hang out in this type of place... interest is still staying at home... typical 宅男...

Okie meanwhile i needa work hard for my parasites project haha... Good Luck to me then:)

2008-03-12T22:38:00.002+08:00

Effort & recognitions not equal to result...

Result's out... and everybody got theirs... i got mine after treating butterfinger... but i was so demoralised and upset (and all the words describing sadness) after seeing the message... everyone in the vet dept consoled me and so on... thanks to their consolation... but deep inside my heart, i just feel so heartbroken and depressed...

I din meant to show any black face... so sorry if anyone sees that, esp anwar.. pai seh bro! i tried to joke and smile already... din mean to show a blank and expressionless face while doing the post mortem for the indian wolf...

I held on to my tears after i received it... just dont feel like its a good thing to cry in front of everyone... especially almost all the dept ppl are there to see me getting my results...

Yupz... result is just an alphabet... what i am upset is not the drop in gpa or anything, but is the effort i put in so much and thats what i yielded... isnt it depressing? effort and recognition is not equilvalent to the results i got back... and one more thing i am trying to figure out is the mistakes i made in my project... what went wrong? i wanto improve in future, or rather, do i have a future to improve on? i dont know...

This is really the 1st time i cared so much for my results... mainly due to the fact that its an effort that i put in... just finished crying and i dont feel much better after that... sorry for showing attitude to ppl who talked to me in msn... i just dont feel like talking to anyone right now...

I am just a useless bum... but i wont show my sadness to anyone in my workplace... this is at least what i am trying my best to do... since i am useless in practically everything... no theory and practical knowledge...

For the next 3 days i am enjoying my off days... planned to ask my frens out initially, but i guess no point as well... since everyone is busy with their work also, maybe its just not a good idea to disturb ppl... i will try to use the next 3 days to recuperate then... which i dont think i can... going to lock myself in the bedroom...

Feeling so useless and helpless right now...

2008-03-12T01:00:00.002+08:00

Nervous...

Just 1 more day to results... i am super tensed and nervous haha... last semester... end of poly... can i wrap it up with good results? i got no idea haha...

Heart is beating faster and faster... tachycardia haha... praying hard and crossing my fingers...

1 more day to results... are you prepared? i doubt so haha...

2008-03-10T00:45:00.002+08:00

Time goes by... Tickling and Tickling...

Super scare haha... getting results soon and i just feel so worried... assurance were given by Dr Oh and Dr Serena and all... but i still dont have confidence.. i really hope i can get a B+, at least for my effort haha... overall i find my project a good one, but wonder how the marker feels...

2 or 3 more days to the final verdict haha... just feel so scared...

2008-03-03T22:27:00.011+08:00

Enjoying my life to the fullest right now haha...

Well I am enjoying my life everyday haha.. everyday is just well planned out... work and play... haha... and recently i spent a bomb in shopping as well lol... just last thursday i bought psp lol... and i got my num singlet... yay! but no figure to wear la haha... just buy for myself LOL... sounds as if i wont be wearing like that haha...

Thanks to ciliang who bought me another one hahaha... really appreciate greatly... i think you really know how i feel about my bdae lol... but well its over already, so bo pian to turn back time haha...

Just feel so satisfied everyday haha... and now i heard that my pay is 8.50 haha... really thanks to Dr Serena lol... she suggested, like what Dr Sonja said before, writing a letter to the government and ask whether i can dont nid to go army and continue and work in zoo lolll... super cute la her haha... damn funny haha...

Today i will post alot of pics haha... here they go~

Bobby and me! haha... i love bobby la haha...

Sedated leopard for X Ray...

Farewell dinner haha... bad quality but at least we took the pic haha...

My 3 princesses... Ginger, Oreo and Genie haha...

Ginger~

Genie~

Oreo~

The 3 of them:)

Sleep~

Still sleeping haha...

Yum Yum...

Kiss Kiss LOLLL...

Baby Lee disturbing haha...

Mummy... please give me food okie?

Yay! what are you going to give me leh? hehe...

Kiss Kiss...

Hello Baby, where are you looking huh?

The sleepy guardian angel LOL...

Happy 20th birthday to me:)

Happy 6th birthday to baby lee oso haha...

Happy bird day~

Mum and me haha...

Baby Lee lol...

Tired face..

I want to sleep zzz...

Look at the camera leh lol...

Okie i noe u wanna sleep haha...

I shall sleep with u lorrr haha...

2008-02-15T23:09:00.002+08:00

Officially free from school haha...

Well i had my poster presentation on wednesday and that marks the end of my Major project haha... think i will fail the poster presentation cuz that yee mon bombarded me with loads of irrelevant questions... i told Dr Serena about those questions he asked and she was shocked haha... well, fail then bo pian lor... report also he mark... think the most i can get should be a C ba.. haiz...

Well since its over, i dont wanna tink about that... next think about the next chapter of life haha... work! and yes, i am officially part of the zoo now haha.. working as a part time nurse.. not bad la.. 4 days a week and 8 bucks per hour... compare to my fren is peanuts but i am happy with it cuz i am free for 3 days and can do alot of things haha.. most importantly exercise haha... need to shed off bulks of fats in my body haha... swimming and jogging!! haha...

Recently, i tink its because of the holiday mood, i am so desperately wanting to go out with my frens.. but well i doubt they are free haha... but its okie i can stay at home and enjoy the day myself... sounds abit sad huh.. but sleeping is a good choice to past time haha... or go jogging or swimming haha... but still super wanting to see them LOL... machiam super despo like that lol.. but even if i am free, i doubt they are.. so better cancel off this idea wahaha...

Work hard then... though the loneliness still flows through the blood haha...

2008-02-11T23:35:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday to Me and Baby~

Another year has passed and I reached 20 years old... it marks a new stage of life for me haha... i am 20! haha... though next year is the year that is legal in some sense haha...

So before the clock strikes 12, I will say HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME HAHA...

I went to Dr Oh's house to 拜年 today, alone with Anwar haha... and we had a great talk for around 1+++ hours... thanks to Anwar's gift and bday card haha... and also thanks to Dr Oh's ang pao lol...

Went to Swenson's and buy a cake for myself haha... Blackforest ice cream cake... omg... drooling again haha... celebrated with my family and frens haha... shall upload pictures of New Year and my bdae when i installed the software for the digicam...

Many thanks to many people who msged me, be it sms or friendster haha... thanksssss many much!!! lol..

Its a great day for me today haha... i had my mee sua... and thats super important lol... I had loads of fun everyday... luckily there is no test or exam for me to worry haha... and i finished my poster before new year starts... thats great!!! lol...

Happy birthday to me once again... Happy birthday to Baby Lee!!! haha...

2008-01-29T20:05:00.000+08:00

Last few bits to go~

Well i just finished my attachment last sunday... and its great to know that i am able to go back and work as a veterinary nurse haha... thats cool lol... pay wise is unknown for the moment, but i just need the experience, which is the upmost important thing that money cant buy:)

Last thursday they celebrated for me... and also some of the staffs that are leaving as well... we went to a restaurant called MARGARITA on Dempsey Road, near botanic garden.. the restaurant serves mexican food, which is the 1st time i am trying haha.. but i dont know which one is nice and all the names are so hard to pronounce, so i just order the one that has the easiest pronounciation lolll... kitchen sink burrito... and it taste great!!! haha... kind of lucky sia haha...

Its super fun when all of us get together and there were load of craps and fun the whole night... i really enjoyed it... lucia was trying to corrupt me with the magarita they she ordered for me.. strawberry magarita.. it just born naturally within my genes that i dont like drinking haha.. but i had a few sips and it still taste bad for me haha.. and of cuz due to my empty stomach, my face turns red pretty fast haha...

We also talked about loads of crappy issues lolll... dr oh was there to crap as well haha... its so fun! and thanks to him cuz he actually sent me back home.. haha.. pai seh sia...

The whole dinner cost near to 700 bucks... they treated me so i dont have to pay, but its kind of pai seh sia... thankew everyone!!!

Only one thing i am sad, or rather the whole vet dept was upset over... and that is WE DIN BRING CAMERA!!! sianzzz... but i still use my hp to take some low quality pics.. shall post it nix time but well, its not clear anyway haha...

Friday i went to geylang with dr anwar lolll... we went to lor 9 to have beef hor fun and frog leg porridge... its sooooooooo nice!!! haha... and its the 1st time anwar is eating frog leg... took 2 pics of him using my brother camera... shall upload nix time lolll...

New year is coming and i finished my shopping last last saturday... bought 3 bermudas and 4 t shirts... bought some accessories as well... but yesterday i went out to shop with gor haha... sitting on his scooter is soooooo fun and the feeling is simply sooo great lol... but my groin feels abit pain today LOL:D

Anywae we bought 2 havannas slippers, so we can share it since both of our leg share the same size haha... and he bought me a G Shock watch that cost $157 after discount... and its my favourite colour green lol... he himself bought a fred perry polo, which is super ex lol... when he asked me whether i want anything from fred perry, i just say no immediately loll... pai seh to ask him buy sia... so ex... and i not into branded stuffs as well LOL...

Today is my BIG DAY cuz i am presenting my project to zoology and vet department... its so stress haha... but i just try to remain cool lor... but its great to know that they like my presentation and dr serena was saying that they are impressed by my presentation... i am very happy to know that haha... they said that i am confident, calm and cool, but i dont think so sia haha... and my english sucks bad as usual LOL... the zoology director biswajit still ask me whether i want to present to the whole zoo lol.. i just quickly say no cuz its too much for me haha... i will just hand in my report to them haha... but really thanks alot to their recognition...

Alrights... i nid to start on alot of stuffs before its too late lol... jia you then...

2008-01-10T23:30:00.000+08:00

What my future gonna be?

Its been one month since i last blogged haha... the 1st post of year 2008... loads of things to update on my blog haha... however i will try not to write grandmother stories, which i like actually hahaha..

1st thing to say is to those people who cared for me... thanks alot for ya concerns and care... i am fine cuz i am back to blog haha... well i will still continue to stay strong in front of everyone haha..

I got 3 new family members... my gerbils from zoo fragile forest haha... thanks to them for giving me that lol... ginger, genie and oreo... and not forgetting my baby lee wahaha... i am glad to have them around haha... thanks alot for ya accompany...

Oh ya... last wed i went to check my body for NS... and i still dont understand why i get pes A... am i really that healthy? i dont know...

2 weeks before the finishing of sip... i cant bear to leave that place... but i guess i can extend my stay there haha... cuz dr serena asked me on tuesday when i passed her the appraisal form... the employer type of questions haha...

'"What you would like to do before your army?" She asked
"Continue to work here?", I said.
"Well we would like to let you work here definitely. Other section like show section has part timers, i dont see why we cant employ too. We cant be asking you to continue volunteering here, i think your parents will definitely kill me haha." She said.
"I will check with HR and update you again." She added.

I laughed cuz i am too happy to know that haha... There was once when i and feza was arranging our off day and she came and check out what we were doing, and i actually dropped a question by asking her whether i can extend or not, and she smile and say yes. i am so happy to know that haha... and when tapir keeper nanda said he is going to send fecal sample, she told him can send it to me -- the poo boy lolll... then she added "too bad you are leaving, but you are coming back right?" I am really very happy when she said all this to me... well maybe people who actually read my blog will think i am boasting or what, but i just wanted to write down anything happy that happened in my life, so in future at least i can review it again haha...

I am very happy everyday haha... a great contrast when last month i said i am going to die right? i guess definitely there will be people thinking that i am trying to gain attention by saying those stuffs... but i doubt nobody will know how i feel when i write the post... i am still trying to be happy everyday, and definitely in front of everyone... at least i can always show my happiness and not my sadness... keeping these sadness to myself might be the best option...

And now i am pondering what my future will be? i just dont see any light ahead... it seems so dim and even dark... i wanna be a vet, will i succeed? i really dont know... i hope i can be... i hope...

A new year ahead, but i am still stuck behind over this... I just want to find my true love... but i doubt i can haha... 19 years and its still like this, i am still trying to get over it... and just one more month before i reach 20, i guess there wont be any changes to it as well... maybe staying single for my whole life is what's meant to be predestined for my life...

My mind is all filled with you haha... sounds mushy huh... but i just trying to erase you from my mind... i just trying hard to get over you... but i think it will really take time... and now i am still thinking about you...

I love you, my wishful thinking...

2007-12-10T22:00:00.000+08:00

Optimism gone, my life will be gone...

This might be my last post... I just dont know when i will commit suicide, perhaps soon... Thanks to everything i had before...

Baby I love you...

2007-12-09T23:23:00.000+08:00

Fiery and on the verge of bursting into tears...

For this very moment, i seriously dont know what to say... what can i do to salvage the situition i am in? i seriously has no idea about it... i am trying hard, really really very hard, but i guess no significant improvement shown...

I am still as smiley as ever... but deep in the bottom of my heart i am bleeding badly... i feel like crying, but i am putting a strong face in front of them, my dad and my mum...

I guess later in the midnight is the best moment to burst into tears... baby i need ur consolation... thanks...

Holding on to my tears right now~

2007-12-03T21:09:00.000+08:00

I am trying my best...

I have been having loads of fun recently haha... friday went to george's cafe to celebrate Joann's birdday... met the long lost people.. wei! lolll... so happy to see them... crappy as usual lol... so fun... and thanks alot to my colleague marie, she sent me there haha... heng she lived nearby there, so she is able to send me... thanks so much! I managed to save transport fee to there from zoo, but i missed my bus 87 at night... saddening la lolll... nvm, cab ride was nice too haha...

Workplace is still as fun as usual... learning loads of stuffs everyday... finally get to draw blood from a snake haha... it was definitely tricky haha... but i got dr sonja to teach, so i dont worry haha...

Went swimming today... and the sun is bright.. have a little tanning session but doesnt make a big difference though haha... bought a book, Marley & Me... i have been wanting to read this book for a long time... even wanted to buy when i saw it that time, but luckily, popular have a 20% discount on it now, so i got the book straight away haha... its time to cultivate a reading habit... my english has been a laughing stock for others, so its time to improve it...

Baby lee... i am trying my best to save u from misery ya! we will work hard together oki... and i will work hard to save as much money as possible for ur medication fees and my studies fees haha... gotta be very very thrifty...

2007-11-26T23:22:00.000+08:00

Optimism keeps my life going...

Haha i thank ti gong for giving me such an optimistic mind haha... no matter how miserable my life is, i am still able to smile:)

Well, i noe and i can sense that my frens are annoyed when i keep on saying things that happened in my workplace, so in future i shall not say so much, or rather dont say anymore haha... i believe they will also think i am whining in my blog again haha...

Well, there are alot of happy things that happened to me recently... things like going out with my frens, go vet's house to watch dvd etc makes my life happy... receiving nonsense email from anwar is the funniest thing lolll...

But i always have this burden... family problems... i am so tired over this... it makes my life so down... well i am thankful that i have this blog, so that i can talk to myself and not troubling my frens haha...

Dad is getting worst everyday... if he dont wanna save himself, who is able to? mum is suffering from so much of stress, how can i help her? there are so many things in my mind... i really wanna help, but i just cant succeed everytime i tried... being an unfilial son is so easy... i've ever thought of that before... i am trying out all the possibilities, but all dont work... if my dad is so persistant in dying early by smoking non stop, i cant help it as well... if he dont wanna help himself, who can? i will just hack care i guess.. in the end the person suffering is not only him, is mum and me...

Talking about all this can make me cry, but i will just put up my strong side in front of everyone for sure haha... i wont give black face haha... smile and crack silly jokes is still me:) meanwhile, i am downloading 40 yr old virgin, hopefully i can get a good laugh and put my worries aside for the very moment...

I will stay happy always.. i will... i will talk to myself more often in future haha... so that i wont trouble my frens by whining to them hahahaha...

2007-11-04T21:07:00.000+08:00

Fruitful week...

Everyday in zoo is a happy day for me haha... crapping around as usual lol... but i get to learn more stuffs each day and i am super happy when they put trust on me and allow me to carry out duties on my own... i am sort of writing a reflection in my blog this week whaha... well its going to be a lengthy post though...

Monday i learnt how to do intramuscular injection for giant flying squirrel haha... i think sure have alot of people laughing at me as in i dont noe how to do im injection haha... flying squirrel is filled with skin n bones haha... so Dr Serena taught me where is the muscle for me to inject haha... its easy haha... dr Lita taught me how to draw blood from it... i am so proud of myself to get it at 1st shot haha... if you guys could see my face rite now, its filled with grins LOL...

Saturday there was an orthopaedic surgery for the himalayan tahr named bobby haha.. that surgery realli let me learn loads of stuffs sia... and it let me 大开眼界! how he fixed the fractured bone back and using those metal plates and drill etc... the whole process was super power sia haha... the surgeon is call dr su... he has his own clinic outside, so zoo asked him in to do the surgery cuz he is specialised in this field... dr serena told me the difference between zoo vets and clinic vets in using the suture material is that the clinic vets wont waste the suture materials and will use it up to the last bit... and thats true! dr su used the last bit of the suture in suturing the big wound of the himalayan tahr... and he used one pack only lor!

Dr Su is really a very skillful surgeon... see how he perform the surgery... swift, skilled, neat, professional etc are all the words that i can describe him... and he still can joke while doing it haha (we were all talking about kambing soup when doing the bone surgery cuz we saw the bone marrow of the tahr haha)... most shocking thing is he is in his polo shirt with berms n a pair of crocs sandles... putting over a surgeon top gown over his polo tee onli... wow~

Last night i went to JB... johor haha... with dr anwar... i went to his house cuz his house is holding some invitation.. sort of housewarming la haha... it was fun... and his mum's cooking is great haha... there is alot of people whom i met thought i was a malaysian in singapore... and now, when i go to his house, people are astonished when they get to noe i am a singaporean... haha... its so obvious that even malaysian thought that i am a malaysian wahaha... thats cute LOL... i enjoyed myself there... though quite stressed as all his family members are like prominent figures... his elder brother is an orthopaedic surgeon... and he is a vet... but its still fun there haha...

Its being so long since i went to JB... and its my 2nd time to go overseas alone haha... last time went to indonesia, then now malaysia... and its super easy and fast to go from singapore to JB... it takes me around 2hours from zoo to there... and it takes me around 2 hours to return to sengkang from malaysia... whats astonishing is the whole trip i can use my concession since its singapore bus... wow~ haha...

I am so proud of myself when i come back alone haha... its a small thing but its important to me haha... but i nearly got banged by the car while crossing the road... the car speeded and horn at me, and i have to run... its so close sia... i nearly depart from the world haha... thanks buddha...

When i am waiting for 950, i saw an old lady there sitting... i just offered my help in some small ways and that old lady started talking about how she had a tiff with her husband and she go to JB etc... she keeps on repeating what she is saying, and all i can do is to help her find her way home cuz apparantly she cant remember well... i bring her back from JB (for a person who is 1st time going back from JB to singapore) to woodlands and help her find the exact bus to go back to her house... din manage to send her back to her exact home though cuz i need to rush for my last bus... but i did what i can do le haha... proud of myself again... wahaha...

Today i did blood drawing from the sentinel chicken (1 male 1 female)... i managed to draw the blood from the wing vein at the 1st time... no haematoma caused... so proud of myself LOL... and anwar taught me how to euthanise the chicken... so i injected pentobarbital into the brain (its called something-occipital space, i shall check it out)... and after injecting, i have to 'mash' the brain by swirling my needle inside the brain in circular motion...

Anwar also taught me post mortem of the chicken... so he do on the hen and i do on the cock... now i know how to do the post mortem of the chicken already... what comes to my surprise is that the cock is not dead yet when i am doing post mortem for it... its heart is still beating for a while then stop (at that time i already opened the body)...

The euthanasia and post mortem is really a valuable learning process! thanks so much to anwar, my shifu there haha... and also i have to thank the hen and the cock cuz they sacrificed for my learning... i chanted for you two.. they are really the 苦命鸳鸯... may you 2 in the next life become human again...

Gotta bug on my project le... jia you hanqun!

2007-10-30T23:09:00.000+08:00

想太多

已经想好如果相遇要说些什么
可是遇见了你之后不敢跟你说
是我太在乎完美
不想知道结果
我没用没有用
爱情象是一扇永远开不了的门
孤单的我在门前是如此的清冷
谁给我一把钥匙
也许是我白问
想太多想太多

2007-10-28T22:27:00.000+08:00

Inner thoughts...

I have been thinking of my future recently... my mind has been filled with the urge to study vet course in australia university, however, given my financial condition and my results, i cant get in to any places i want... i am glad that i still have this blog to share with me my sorrows haha... thanks blog...

I really hope i can be a vet... the urge became so much stronger after me working in zoo haha... i was wondering what i can do to become a vet.. or in fact, nothing... unless i strike toto and win at least 300k lor haha... but i cant bear to leave my family too... especially my dog cuz 6 years will make me cant see her forever... well dont think so much ba... i think i cant get into anywhere oso haha... lets see how thing goes ba, as usual haha...

I really wanto work in zoo, as a vet haha... i simply like the place too much le la... but i just can share with my blog cuz i think my frens will get so fed up when me keep on saying how fun my workplace is... thanks blog for sharing my joy as well haha... and baby lee thankew you oso haha...

Future seems so dark for me... any touchlight to light up my future? haha...

Hopefully my future wont be as dark as the sky haha...

I am falling deeper to something else oso... haha... i cant hold on to my stand again... well perhaps i am born with this forever haha... i am searching for my happy ending... but maybe loneliness is my happy ending haha... not emotional now, just realistic hahahaha...

I need someone to talk to~

2007-10-26T22:08:00.000+08:00

So in love with my workplace~

Oh i am so in love with my workplace... everyday is just the right day for me i guess... especially with Dr Anwar lolll... we can crap all the day lolll... i realli enjoy working... i told dr serena that i am having much fun here and she wants to torture me liao lolll... so funny sia haha...

Something big happened on tuesday wahaha... the whole vet department chase over a cute tiny rat hahahahahaha... dr serena, dr lita and dr anwar + feze n marie n sudin and keepers chasing the small little rat... it was caught and they dont intend to kill it becuz it has a white belly, which is different from other rats lol... so funny la haha... then dr serena though it is tame enough, so we want to anaesthesize it without using the gas chamber but directly through the face mask... little do we know that the rat actually jumped out away from our reach and ran away haha... thank god it din ran out of the treatment room... but it went to the operating theatre wahaha... and it hide inside the old surgical table... omg! faint haha... what do we do? we flipped over the surgical table with the help of a hydrolic lifter and dismantle the surgical table to get that little rat LOL... after we got the rat we still help it to bath and deworm the ectoparasites LOL...

I told dr serena that i should have taken video and post in youtube and she beat me LOL... so funny la the whole process... we took ard 2 hours to anaesthesize one small rat... its realli a great way to end work on tuesday wahaha...

I heard from some or maybe most of my frens counting down the sip, but i actually hope to extend sia haha... i realli love working in zoo haha... its so much fun... as usual, my imitating behaviour from tp is brought over to the zoo, but who initiated it? anwar! lolll... both of us can laugh over the joke within us where no one in the zoo knows lolll... so damn funny haha... you want to... LOL... faint sia haha..

Today i went swimming... then after i come back from swimming, i bring my doggy for a walk... this time round i am trying out letting her go without the leash... omg she followed me and listened to my order haha... i am so surprised how guai she is... one thing sad is that her skin condition still doesnt seems any better... haiz...

Anyway i shall post these pictures in zoo haha... i shall leave somemore inner thoughts to my next entry then...

I love giraffe... especially this one.. it is so friendly haha... but it treats girl better haha...

This is the rat that created such a big havok wahaha...

Cute rite? we decided to name it ratatouille haha...

Me and the cute tiny pangolin found in sembawang country club...

I am looking for ticks...

Endoscopy of the sloth bear...

Its so nice looking rite? haha...

The stick insect for breeding... can i bring one home oso? haha...

Baby Lee! haha... she is so adorable...

Smile with me baby! though i am not smiling but your smile is the cutest haha...

2007-10-20T03:08:00.000+08:00

Tactful communication - key factor to the success of maintaining a friendship

Got enlightened just now ba i guess haha... things that i expect to happen happened as what i had expected... i always believe in a 2 ways communication to straighten out thoughts of different views... it takes 2 hands to clap, though it might sounds common, but how difficult it is to build out this common-ness between all of us?

If communication between a small group happens and not going to share with the whole big group, what is the point to establish a consensus between all of us?

Even if consensus cant be established, at least we know whats going on and how individual thinks and we can actually work on it in future... things that are left hanging over in the mid-air without doing anything doesnt leave a point to carry out... what's left are just the dead bodies of words on the floor... lying dead and cant reach to anyone's ear...

Bringing up things to the whole group and get it discussed is so important... give and take is so difficult... but i always believe it can be done, so i always express what my views are tactfully... what i get in return? ear whisperings between small group and dont wanto share... what do you expect us to know from what ur whisperings are trying to deliver? i realli dont have superb hearing skills... and i cant be bothered to try listening when people dont intend to share the information that is, or ought to be shared...

I simply believe friendship is not vulnerable over tiny things... but it can be when we overlooked the importance of these tiny things... sounds ironic... but it happens, all the time...

Perhaps there are still so much for me to learn... but it seems that each and everyone of us are learning the different syllabus... conclusion drew upon doesnt seems the same... neither are there able to work out together well enough... it simply sounds so sad, isnt it?

2007-10-13T23:22:00.000+08:00

我们的爱

词：汉群
曲：Colbie Caillat & Jason Reeves

这个世界纷纷扰扰
有时还真觉得有点吵
不管外界怎么打扰
有你在我身边就好

我爱的拥抱充满温暖可靠
我在你身边给你依靠
用我的体温消除你的疲劳
用我的真诚永远对你好

有时候我心情很糟
对你吐苦水还有牢骚
你的内心露出微笑
对我说明天会更好

你爱的拥抱让我被爱围绕
你在我身边感觉真好
听你的声音消除我的疲劳
听你说爱我感觉真妙

我该说什么呢?
一辈子就让我
爱着你...

我们的拥抱给予彼此依靠
我们拥有共同心跳
我们的爱情被爱神照料
将来会开出爱的花苗

我们在一起不争吵
我们将会白头到老
我们跨越所有阻挠
往后日子幸福美好

我们的拥抱给予彼此依靠
我们拥有共同心跳
我们的爱情被爱神照料
将来会开出爱的... 花苗...

Just listen to Colbie Caillat's new song Bubbly and thought of this chinese lyrics... well perhaps i din write a good piece, but its just a feeling that i would like to express over this beautiful music haha... how i wish i can be the guy in my lyrics haha... just wanted to fall in love LOL... the music in my blog now is this particular song... so perhaps u guys can listen and read the original lyrics, which is far much better than mine...

2007-10-09T22:37:00.000+08:00

Happy and enlightened...

Well i shall kick off my entry with happy stuffs 1st hahah... yesterday was such a great day for me haha... i actually asked Dr Serena whether can i take blood from the animals and she said it depends on opportunities... at that moment i was somehow abit disappointed cuz i hope i can learn as much as possible during the period of stay in the zoo, but i understand their difficulties because they nid to teach the new vets and university vet students... so i just wait for opportunity lor... guess what? the next moment Dr Serena asked me to take blood from the silver leaf langur... and i was like "OMG!" haha... its really a golden opportunity sia... and i am really excited haha... dr serena and feza said they want alot of blood haha... stress sia lol... but i poked the needle in and get the blood straight at 1st shot... i am so proud of myself la lol... though its like small thing onli but i realli feels super happy and contented haha...

and i learned alot of things about haematology yesterday haha... i must noe how to read the blood smear slides in future!

As for today, i dragged my tired body to work as usual haha... and something in the morning wakes me up with loads of joy for the whole day haha... dr anwar give me something from malaysia when he came back from there... he give it to me once he saw me haha... and it takes his life and head to take it sia hahaha... something edible... u guy can figure it out haha... i was like so shocked cuz i just randomly say singapore cannot eat this type of thing and i feel like eating it haha... he is just super nice la... and thoughtful oso haha... small things like this makes me happy haha...

Okie results obtained so far for something and this is inspired by a conversation just now haha...

Tolerance: Z
Effort: Z
Satisfaction for others: F (after taking so many subpapers)
Happiness for others: F (after taking so many subpapers)

GPA: 2
Remarks: Neutral GPA which confused you in getting further or backing out. Perhaps you need the enlightenment light from the heaven that shines brightly and resolve everything. Not proceeding to next semester unless all modules get Z.

I think i have already finished alot of major project over this and got loads of distinction already... results negative though, but the flow of the project is according to plan... well evil as i might sound, but i believe no point hiding this...

Lets see how thing goes...

2007-10-05T22:33:00.000+08:00

Cheetah cheetah lol...

I am not so camwhoring la... okie la i am but today wanna take these pics but dont dare to... and guess who initiated it? Dr Oh lolll... once we had done all the necessary examinations of the cheetah, he quickly take out his expensive camera and take with it haha... still go find and take out stethoscope to gek gek listen to the heartbeat LOL... super cute la him... then after that ask me whether i got bring camera anot... and urge me to take pics oso lolll... so i took lor wahaha... thanks sarah for always being my cameragirl lolll...

I also gek gek listen to the heartbeat wahaha...

Had meatball spagghetti just now... i cook one lor wahaha... super nice...

Yum Yum haha...

Okie mahjong in a little while more haha... so excited...

2007-10-04T23:38:00.000+08:00

Will things get better and better and better... or i am plain dreaming?

Well actually din intend to blog today cuz i actually worked until 730pm and reached home at 9pm... so i am already half dead haha... was thinking about something the whole day while i was working, and its already been in my brain for one week i have been thinking about this problem...

Feels troubled once again... and thats because i can sense that dad's condition is getting worst or he might have another stroke again perhaps... whats makes me so depress is that he himself dont have the will to get better i think... maybe he tried... but i doubt so... mum is so tired and pissed at times when taking care of him... so am i... i guess thats plain human nature... but we are trying our best, and it seems like things just dont turn out well as it is supposed to be... i always had this intuition and its just so accurate... everytime i feel happy and enjoying life with my family, and especially things going smoothly, bad things will happen and hinder our way... same old thing, everytime... cant we deserve a chance to stay happily ever after? i doubt so...

Months coming to a dead end... i am already damn thrifty and minimised my spendings... food in zoo is free and i am saving everyday... only thing i buy to pamper myself for my hardwork is green apple green tea... and the most i spent is on my dog.. her shampoo and herbal medicine... its all the necessities, but now i got to find a way to earn and so i can pay for these necessities... i guess i need to take up tuition, if i am able to find one, to help pay for all these... without the allowance in zoo, and i am not working part time anymore, it is so much taxing on the money we are having... and its like coming to a dead end... i am stressed over this as usual...

I decided to stay at home during my off days whenever possible... actually i just dont feel like going out... no.1 reason is being tired, and no.2 reason is that its just too taxing to my purse... so if i ever reject my frens from asking me out, i think thats the 2 main reasons... hopefully they will understand... its not the commitment that i am not giving, its just the situition i am facing...

Exceptional case is this coming saturday... and perhaps nix week...

Alritez... since i am bloggin today on my emotion, i shall post 2 pics that will gross some people off, especially shahirah, mathilda and kerensa haha...

2007-10-02T20:10:00.000+08:00

I am back haha...

Okie i am finally back with a new post in my blog... too tired to blog le recently... of cuz laziness plays a major role lol... i got so much to share but i guess its abit difficult to write everything here, so i decided to post some pics haha...

The giant anteater..

Dr Anwar and i were like betting who the giant anteater prefer cuz when both of us were together, it kept following us... so we decided to split our way and here's the result who it likes haha...

Komodo dragon whitespot soaking...

Preparing to do hydrotherapy for it...

Enjoying the sun...

I look forward when we go back to our school for the 1st campus discussion, then i can share with my frens what i did there... meanwhile i just nid to get my proposal done well... i already had my proposal done and given to them, but i guess there are still alot more changes eg language and formats...

My project is already kicked off and i hope nothing big will happen haha... everything pls go on smoothly can le haha...

Yesterday Dr Oh taught us how to use blowpipe and gun to shoot the dart... its super fun haha... here are some pics as well...

That's our target for shooting...

Ready, shoot!

Hunching post lol...

Extented blowpipe...

Loading the gun...

1,2, aim and shoot...

2007-09-12T23:52:00.000+08:00

Day 3 in zoo...

From 9-12+, i simply stone inside the office and even dozed off for dunno how many times haha.. too tired + boring when doing research and reading books on behaviour haha... but once its lunch time, its fun~ haha...

After lunch i went to the surgical room and helped Dr Sonja in restraining the snake for operation cuz the snake have stomatitis (should spell in this way ba haha)

And i also got to join Dr Sonja for doing routine checkup at different places... went to the tapirs there and did blood test to check for babesia cuz that tapir is losing weight over unknown reason...

Then got to go to primate holding area, which is the place i have to go very often in future for my major project... went with dr anwar and that guy damn funny la.. super stress lor him... think its bcuz he is a new vet here... before he drive me there, he asked me to make my confessions lolllll... cuz he is not confident in driving... and yes! he stalled alot of times haha... super cute la him lol...

Then when we come back, we proceed to the feed preparation room and do all the checkup for all the phytons caught from outside.. and omg there are alot... all in different sizes... we did sexing of the snake (a tube is inserted to the hole, if not wrong is the site for urinating and shitting... if there is obstruction that prevent the tube in, its a female snake... if there are allowance to let the tube in, its a male snake cuz there is a penis holding sac if not wrong), tubing of the snake (which is gavaging la cuz they are dehydrated), restraining for injections... and these snakes are damn strong even after sedated..

One of the phytons swallowed a bird from the zoo... so Dr Sonja squeezed out his faeces and i do the checking of the faeces for the bird ring, so as to identify which bird kanna swallowed... the whole process is damn funny la haha... i am simply shredding the faeces into TINY pieces and just to look for the tiny ring... its smelly of cuz and sonja said if i am able to find it, she will treat me coffee lolllll.. in the end i still cant find any haha..

While doing the shredding of faeces, one of the snake pee and shitted on sarah... damn funny lol... it happened alot of time while we restrain la, but din expect it to do it on sarah haha...

Those snakes that the police caught are mostly healthy and beautiful, however, some of those that were caught are injured and we have no choice but to put it to sleep... sonja injected pentobarbital into the brain of the snake and the turn the needle around in the brain to 'squash' it... and the we can see how to verify snake is dead... its kind of sad but we have no choice... all thanks to the police... they wanto send in bulk for what they have caught... but din they realise that if there is sick animals and they cant treat it, please seek for veterinary attention la... dont wait for the time to send all the animals and by then the animal is already cannot make it... get ur pea brain thinking please...

Got my results today but din do well... overall my gpa increased la but still not up to what i need haha... and as usual, gpa was counted wrongly... i need to email dr chan liao... and please she needs to take action asap lor... i am happy that my bpharm got B+ haha... din expect that... and last n csas i got B, which i longed for it haha... saprn i din manage to get A, so its pretty sad la... but worst thing is AHDis... i got a B! faints... from a A grade dropped to B... all thanks to the last term test and practical test... super sad la... but no choice... gotta work hard for mp liao...

Here are the pics i took today...

2007-09-11T22:05:00.001+08:00

Day 2 of attachment...

Today is the 2nd day of my attachment.. din do much constructive stuffs but its still very fun haha... report at 10am and meet Dr Oh Soon Hock (i believe vet students should noe who is him) and discuss about my project with him... wow he talk damn fast haha.. and he is also a very frenly guy haha... and my project, finally, i got more details haha... its super interesting lol...

We went to the medicine room and dr oh tell me what dewormer he is using for those langurs, and he is damn funny! guess what he did to me? he ask me to put my finger into the bottle of powder levamisole, and tap the powder and then place it on my tongue... initially i tot he is joking cuz he is smiling when asking me to do that, then he keep on asking me to put it and taste haha... and i did what he told... and that DAMN THING IS DAMN BITTER! lolll... i told him straight away the medicine is damn bitter and he laughed and say to me thats why the animal wont wanto take the medicine... that powder are to be given via oral route, and how to expect an animal to take when the medicine taste so sucky... this is what he told me, and he said he tasted all the medicine in the room so to understand whether the animal will wanto take the medicine anot... i seriously stunt when he said that to me, and i really pei fu what he is doing as a vet...

Went to the reptile park cuz Dr Oh ask us to tag along as he is going to do acupunture for the komodo dragon who is suffering from some nervous disorder and arthritis, so it cannot control its movement and cant move the limbs also... herbal medicine were give together with acupunture therapy and the creature is recovering fast haha... took a few pictures and here it goes...

I realised that dr oh will explain to the visitors on what's going on during the treatment etc... and i din expect him to do that haha... he is really a nice guy haha...

Today there are some pony being put down... its damn sad la... just because they are retired and we have to put down them... its so cruel and disrespect to the animals lor... all of the vet team is so pissed, but we have no choice as we just act according to what is told by the big people... haiz... worst thing is we cant burrow them but to cut them into pieces and burn, like a garbage as what some of them said... thats so sad...

Had canadian pizza as lunch today.. they ordered from outside and all of the vet team sit down and eat because they say every tuesday the vet team will eat together haha... crapped along as well... during the afternoon they bought polar puffs and cakes, if i am not wrong there is durian puffs, but i din eat cuz pai seh la hahaha...

The last 2 hours of the day i simply stone it off haha... took a short nap and then start to think about how to plan my major project cuz dr oh wants the proposal and i dun wanna disappoint him and wanto give him a good one... shall do more research le...

Either tomorrow or thursday i am getting result le... so anticipate but scare haha...

2007-09-10T23:40:00.000+08:00

Great day in zoo...

Day 1 of attachment... one word to describe, and thats FUN!

Initially me and sarah really stone in the library after we were introduced around the vet hospital... but the real fun begins during lunch haha...

Feza, the lab technician, had her ex-boyfren harassing her and keep calling her hp, and all the others helped her by saying this is not her hp haha... and its damn funny haha... how the conversation sounds like is super hilarious hahaha... especially the conservatist/research asst Dr lucia haha... she talk sense to that guy, and when the call ended, FUCKING FREAK came out from her mouth haha... so damn funny and all of us burst into laughers lolll... and all these happened during the meal break, which took us about 2 hours until we find something else to do hahahah... and they can smoke there, and lucia took a puff or 2 from meria hahah... so damn zai la they all lol...

The environment is fun to work with so far, and i hope this will continue haha... we went to walk around the zoo like tourist when we have to wait for dr serena oh... when we come back from our strolling then serious business starts haha.. lab test! my favourite haha... here is a list of things i did...

- Packed cell volume
- Blood smears
- Unopette system (for white blood cell count)
- All of the above are for silver leaf eating langurs
- Serum biochemistry for elephants and silver leaf eating langurs
- Fecal smears and fecal floation test for bearded dragons
- Found pinworm eggs and coccidia under the microscope
- Observe the surgery for the monitor lizard whereby dr serena extract the dead tissues at the wound there
- Realised that the monitor lizard will stop its breathing when it is anaesthesized, so oxygen have to be flushed in using the reservoir bag at 2 minutes interval

The journey from my house to there takes me an hour only haha.. its super fast... and tml i will have to report at 10am, so i can catch somemore sleep haha...

Working hours: 9-630pm
Not paid
Lunch provided, but as what they say, we will get sicked of it soon lolll...
5 days work, but public holidays and weekends have to work (I dont mind haha)

I wil get to learn more about my mp soon i suppose... and i hope the fun will continue throughout the whole internship period haha...

3 more days to result... exciting but scare...

2007-09-09T23:52:00.000+08:00

The journey starts tomorrow~

Well I am here to post a short post haha... by rite i wanna write about things that happened during the past one week, but i think i will leave it to the next post ba haha... tml i will be starting my SIP in zoo... and now i feel stressful and scare cuz i am afraid i cannot perform up to their expectations... hopefully everything will be fine haha...

And ya, 3 more days to result... exciting and scare haha...

I need to work hard for everything haha... and i might be setting up a new blog about my experience in zoo...

Most importantly, bon voyage kerensa... if you are reading my blog, i hope you will have a safe journey in china.. and please take care of yourself ya! i wanto see you in msn too haha... take good care of yourself okie... i believe you can make it! and when you come back, i will see a new ker, a white one... oops! haha... so sorry that i cant send u tml...

Alritez... maggie mees and then sleep~

2007-09-03T06:39:00.000+08:00

Nervous system is wrecking~

I am suppose to sleep now but well, woke up at 5am and my eyes are wide open with no signs of drowsiness haha... partially because i slept the whole of sunday away haha... since nothing for me to do now, i shall blog haha...

In about 3 and a half hours time, i will noe whether is there any allowance for my attachment haha... i seriously need that money to sustain my month living haha... hopefully hopefully lol...

And then i will be having mahjong with kanghwee and her frens... heard from kanghwee that they are playing 3-6, kind of stress and scare sia... and her frens should be those pros... hopefully i wont lose can le haha... winning is a bonus...

But the important event is playing mahjong with wenxi, serene and cecilia hahahaha... which happens after i mahjong with kanghwee they all lolll... so exciting lolll...

Saturday i went to marina square to do an exhibition for vet science... there are alot of schools participating, eg. a-star, NUS, NTU etc... and loads of interesting experiments held there haha... was with shinfen, shihui, ben, jinshun and stella... its so fun when all of us get together lol... crapped and joke as usual haha...

Went to john little marina to return my badges, uniform etc haha... the customer service auntie gave me a funny look lol... i just smile back lor haha... saw chailin and cailing there haha...

After meet bendy and siying (so scandalous) haha... crapped away the time and seriously i thank them for accompanying me haha... if not i got to shop around for 3 hours before meeting wenxi they all haha...

And at 6+ i meet wenxi, serene and terence for steamboat at marina square haha... feels great when eating non stop lollll... and yes i am leading a pig lifestyle during the holidays haha.. then after that we go to clark quay for chilling session... went to a small pub called rage... and we drank tiger beer haha... it taste sucks to me when its not chilled at all haha... and my poor bag got 'drenched' by it haha... there is karaoke there, and we sang alot, but as u noe my sucky singing just made my frens laughed, but not only me la, there are people who are worst lolll... the beanie man as what serene and wenxi said lolll...

I hope my dear fren is feeling better! i believe she will de~ smile girl:) we are always beside you... and no matter what happen, you still have us to back you up and take care of you:)

Alritez going to bath and prepare for school later, though its still early haha...

7 days to SIP, 10 days to result...

2007-08-31T23:38:00.000+08:00

Exam's over, but stress's not...

I finally finish my last paper yesterday, which is bpharm haha... think should be able to get 75/100, but due to my careless mistake, the whole of 7mks calculation is gone... sad sia... i seriously hope that i can get B+ for this subject... but 99% i am getting a B haha... i am going to pray for miracle to happen... but scare sca-li become a C then faints haha...

Went to KBOX with jinshun, ben and ah kim haha... sing alot of crappy songs there... recorded a few crappy videos too but i only have one with me now haha.. gotta post this vid for people to laugh haha... will post the rest of the vids once i got them haha...

Tml going to marina square for one exhibition... Vet science is participating haha.. and i am going to help out tml haha... after that i will be meeting wenxi, serene and terence! so happy haha... so look forward...

Gotta have loads of things coming up... stressful~

1) Monday - SIP briefing at 10am (hopefully i will have pay and my working hours are good)
2) Tuesday - going back for some shooting in TAF
3) Wednesday - NAPHA test - sure fail one

And i need to chiong my major project proposal oso... faintsss... who can guide me along??? how to do a major project proposal without knowing what my project is about but only know the title of the project... i need enlightenment sia...

2007-08-29T18:01:00.000+08:00

1 more paper and another sleepless night...

I left with only one paper and i can enjoy my holidays, erm a short one haha... bpharm bpharm... i should be studying now and not blogging... but as always, i never learn my lesson haha...

I got so much to blog now, but i think i shall leave it till tml or times when i have the energy ba haha... meanwhile i need to get started for my revision...

Btw i think there is something wrong with my computer... pop ups here and there... i super scare now lor... wanna ask my fren but pai seh and scare haha... i hope there wont be any probs with my com arh~!

I seriously hope i can make it for the exam.. please let me make it through haha...

2007-08-28T05:00:00.000+08:00

Erm what time is it now huh?

Well i noe its already 5am in the morning and i should be in my bed sleeping like a dead log... but why am i still here? haha... was about to turn in at around 4 after watching the repeat telecast of kang xi... and then my gor came in and use the com.. its alrite for him to come in but my beloved dog run and chiong in as well! as you all know my dog is famous for her 贱-ness... she came in for my beddd!!! kaozzz and now while i am bloggin she is the one sleeping like a dead log... faints~ i doubt i am able to sleep le cuz she make my bed filled with dandruff, and its like sleeping in the beach with those dandruff around T_T....

Maybe i can talk about how i did for my SAPrn exam today lol... the paper is generally easy, however, its damn random la lolll... i think at most i can get is 75.5/100, but i hope i can get A for this subject leh... please let me get A can? haha...

Tml plan is to sleep as much as possible then chiong Bpharm... cuz my eyes are closing now!!! haiz...

And now my dog is sleeping so soundly, wondering how am i able to sleep... and tml mummy will be making noise again liao... i wanto go to the living room and sleep but my gor is watching dvd... haha... who can lend a bed for me to sleep in???

Nitez if i am able to sleep~

2007-08-24T23:45:00.000+08:00

Gotta work hard...

Well i just took AHDis and LAST term test haha... ahdis i can only use one word to say - FAIL lol... my paper is changed and i cant do most of the questions.. reason being is because i tot questions he asked wont come out again, but all of them from the tutorial came out! even calculations of the blood transfusion also come out... its a blessing that i remember 2 crucial percentage haha... and also thanks to Yee Mon little hint haha...

一失足成千古恨... 从此我再也不投机取巧了...

Took ahdis and saprn practical test... all i can say is damn stress lolll... one 'ding' then we will have to proceed to the next station... each station we are given 2 minutes onli lor... faintsss... super stress but its quite fun la cuz all of us got the same look... you see me i see u... super funny...

Had LAST term test yesterday... study so much then my mind is totally blank... sibei jia lat... its an easy paper and i hope i can get 30/40 to pull up my overall grade... but i seriously learnt a lesson, never do last minute work le... i cannot afford to do this type of foolish mistake le... i need to buck up!

Tml i will be studying saprn... study real hard... i cannot afford to make the same mistake again and again... i must get A for this subject... i already lost my A for AHDis le... at 1st i still tot i can get A for that... in the end it dropped to a disastrous B lor... i hope i will get a B+ for it haha...

Last sat and sun is the last weekend in john little haha... i am so touched that i got so many people celebrating with me... they treated me pizza and even buy me a calvin klein boxer lolll... sha sha, barak (who came down when its his off day), nisa, adek, shahidrah, shishi, auntie jane, paul, auntie cai xia etc... thanks alot to you all... i really appreciate what you all have done for me... i will come back as mistery shopper de... wei! lolll... thanks soooo muchhhh...

Here are some pics we took...

Thanks so much to you guysss...

Oh ya... i have posted this song in my blog... i find it a very nice one... hope you people like it haha...

Jia you hanqun... please study hard haha...

2007-08-17T23:21:00.000+08:00

So many thingsss to do and complete...

Well i din go for my ahdis2 termtest yesterday... then plan to take today but that dr yee mon dont let lol... ask me to come back on monday to take... but i have mahjong on sundae leh lolll... think he nids time to change the papers... diaoz lol... but well i shall study somemore later and during the weekends... yee mon is soooooo damnnnn funny in his replies in email la... buey tahan lor... i kept on laughing like mad when i saw it lol...

Dr Yee Mon: Why were you abscent? Check with me tmw if I am free, then you can do it. Now I haven't known. What was the real reason for disappearing this morning? I waited 1 hr and started only at 11:00 am.

Me: I had fever and I forgot to inform my classmates. Sorry for any trouble caused.

Dr Yee Mon: Your absence make me busy and busy. Tmw, make a call 1st b4 u come to school. OK. I am not very sure if I can do for you tmw. Anyhow, check 1st. I was so suprised this morning as u did not turn up for such an important test. You should inform ur classmates if u can't come. I asked JS as well and he also did know what went wrong with u. The whole class did not know except (someone).. haha. just kidding. Can you wait till Sup test?

Ur fever is suddently up and suddently down so fast?

The above conversation is really copy-pasted from my the email... i laughed like mad at how he reply lol...

Tml working... LAST WEEKEND... and i finished my journey in john little for the whole of 28.5 months haha... time passes super fast... but i guess its a blessing to leave the place of disaster haha... shall take pics if possible haha...

Had my LAST practical test today... and i din expect it to be so successful haha... i went in and restraint the mice... did subcutaneous injection smoothly, and then intraperitoneal... it went smoothly haha... then went on to another station doing the intracardiac and orbital sinus blood withdrawing... its so easy as compared to the practicals we did... my capillary tube just went in and the blood from the eye came out liao... and for intracardiac, its so damn fast for me to collect the blood... i came in later than celine and janice... and when i just put the needle into the heart, move a little bit, the blood gushes out liao... even Dr Jason Chang laughed haha... he is so shocked that i got it so fast, but he is a nice guy lor cuz he still ask celine not to be stress... i like him la! LOL...

Was about to wait for cindy and mat they all for lunch, but while talking at the outside of the TAF, Dr Jomer asked me to help him to do blood test cuz Dr THREE (i dunno the spelling) wanted to... so i help out lor... did centrifuging and collect the serum... but at the same time can be 1st aid there cuz i help to bandage one guy who kanna bitten by the rat... haha... multi-tasking...

I noe where is my attachment le! haha... I am going to spend my next 5 months in ZOO!!! Alot of my coursemates envy me going there haha... though i am going alone... sarah-jean is going too but hers is different, hers only 2 months... i think for mine is a golden opportunities because i am going to assist them in their project... initially zoo is not accepting any interns until last minute... and i got selected! lol... how lucky can i be haha... but its damn far from my house la... i hope there i pay to cover my expenses haha..

I got my major project already... how fast can it be lol... its 'Deworming leaf-eating monkeys and the use of herbs'. As compared to my coursemate, i am the fastest to get my major project le, and i have to submit my major project proposal on the 1st day of attachment! Faints! that means i wont have any holiday break lor... all of my coursemates haven even noe their project yet and i have to submit the proposal during the 1st day of attachment... things just went too far ahead haha... but thats not a bad thing too la, in fact its great.. but i need to catch up with every details... i am going to put my 110% into it this time round!

So many term test, practical test, assignments and exams coming up:

1) AHDis 2 term test
2) LAST term test
3) Attachment assignment
4) SAPrn & AHDis 2 practical test
5) LAST practical test (written)
6) SAPrn exam
7) BPHARM exam
8) Major project proposal

Faints... need to start studying and no procrastinating liao! i dont wanto have regretss...

2007-08-13T22:57:00.000+08:00

Stress...

Came back from the mini attachment on saturday and sunday from mount pleasant animal hospital north branch haha... quite a mouthful huh... okie... not funny.. lolll... all i can say is its a fruitful journey... i learnt alot from there and its so much different from the usual things we learnt in school haha...

Saturday i went with Ria, and i say a big beagle... kaoz... its damn cute la!!! it came here for dental cleaning... and wow.. its ex... 160 if i am not wrong.. i am still thinking of bringing my dog for that sia... guess i needa save for baby liao haha... 2 dogs came for sterilisation, one male and one female.. so i can see the difference between the two haha... i din get to see much operations except 2 male sterilisation and 1 female sterilisation haha... but i do learnt alot from those procedures.. there is also one cat with constipation.. and ronald digged those HARDENED faeces (yes its as hard as a stone) from the anus... i put my finger in and feel the faeces too... and its damn hard... the cat must be suffering... but that damn cat bite me when i was taking off the bandage for her.. idiot!

I realised that the operation room wasnt at the correct place haha... and Dr Fong laughed saying i am the only one who said that lol... but they bo pian need to situitate the operating theatre there due to space constraint... initially the operating theatre is suppose to be upstairs de, but thinking of carrying a big dog to upstairs is a tedious chore, so they let the operating theatre to be there... but well, the operation there is like so relax la.. maybe i din see the stressful part haha... with radio playing songs from 91.3 and joke and talk during operation (Dr Fong), u can see how relax are they haha... but she is also experienced in doing all those la haha... Dr Fong still can ask me do i feel the pain when the balls of the dog is removed (while she is removing it)... lolll... OUCH i said lolll...

Sunday i went with Ruth... alot of big dogs came! labrador retriever, golden retriever and husky haha.. so cute... i carried the labrador on my own lolll... and its damn heavy la haha... it came for squeezing of his anal glands... its damn smelly and it squirted it in the consultation room of Dr Fong lol... damn funny... and smelly..

That clinic is super near to my house... 156 can reach there in less than 15 mins time... but well thats not the main point haha.. main thing is i really learnt lots of things... but the troublesome thing is that we need to write a report -_-lll

Well i am super stress recently... wed i am having bpharm tut quiz and its damn difficult la... thurs is ahdis term test and fri is last practical... arghhh i am so stress haha... i need to start studying later, if not GG!

2 more days - which is wednesday i will be knowing where am i posted to... excited! haha... but meanwhile i have to concentrate on my studies liao... My 3.2 gpa - ultimate goal haha...

2007-08-10T17:15:00.000+08:00

Tired, though i did nothing at all lol...

Woke up at 1pm but still feel sleepy... guess its because i slept at around 4am last nite... well i did practically nothing but stoning in front of the computer and listening to 范晓萱 & 100% new song in youtube... its simply too nice le... haha... i just cant stop listening... addicted to it lolll...

Last nite also play mahjong with serene, wenxi and terence... poor terence lost the most and i won 14 bucks... after that i went to buy mac for my 'dinner' lol... i think i am going to become fat again le la... just now still eat kfc for my lunch... i cant let this go on lol...

Plan to go swimming or jogging today, but i am simply too lazy to do anything... so just stone again lor lol... i think i nid to start my revision le... nix thursday is AHDis 2 term test... i must secure my A for that subject... think i will start tomorrow or sunday, if no mahjong for me WAHAHA...

Oh ya tml i am going to mount pleasant clinic - north branch at serangoon for my 2 days attachment... both tml and sunday... i looked forward to it haha.. but abit scare that i will screw up anything there lol... hopefully everything goes well...

I kind of sense the pressing stress le... it will be my motivation and kip me going.. jia you...

2007-08-09T02:01:00.000+08:00

I am back~!

Its been nearly a month since i last blogged, and now, i am back wahaha... sounds as if i am releasing a long anticipated album hor wahaha... erm guess i think too much lolll...

So many things happened in the past 3 weeks, and i am like living in a pupa during that period, now i emerged as a butterfly wahaha... mixed feelings during this period, but once i sort out my thinking, i am very happy wahaha...

I thank all my friends for being with me all along... without these pillars, i cant stand properly on my own haha.. and now i sound as if i won any award lolll... well, i might put it like a life achievement award wahaha...

I feel blessed, and i am happy... i am just that simple, but no matter how people thinks how i am, i dont care haha... i am just me... learn to hack care sometimes is great lolll... this will make my life happier... grabbing to those comments will just make my life miserable, isnt it?

I tendered my resignation letter, and my last day is on the 19th august... i simply cant stand the environment anymore, despite the fact that alot of people asked me to stay haha... sounds tua pai hor lol... i cant stand my supervisor, which is a bitch haha... neither can i stand my store manager, a bastard... i might sound crude, but work with them and u will noe why... i sincerely hope that i can tell that store manager of mine face to face about his bad leadership... he is simply a bad leader.. he dont give respect to people, and the worst thing is, he dont interact with his colleagues and wont smile one... well, i am waiting for the chance to confront him lol...

My pay increased, but too bad, i need to leave haha... 7.10 per hour.. not bad sia haha... but i need to go for my attachment and i want my weekends back wahaha...

Btw i am posted to the hospital of the zoo, but its not confirmed yet... i am the onli one who is posted there and i noe alot of my classmates envy my opportunity... i am super happy as well but i hope there is pay for my transport and food haha... the exact list will be out next wednesday 10am, lets see how thing goes haha...

Mahjong-ed alot recently wahaha... so damn happy la wahaha... sunday and yesterday mahjong with wenxi, serene and cecilia (wenxi's cousin)... so happy... and cecilia is so funny oso... good kar indeed haha... mahjong last nite but i have a bpharm tut quiz today haha... skipped last lecture to study... bad boy la me loll... i was wondering how many lectures have i skipped... gotta do revision REAL SOON haha... today bpharm quiz oso gg... i tot i studied well enough but all those that came out stunted me and think i will do badly for it... i need to work hard!!!

But mahjong last nite is really fun haha... after mahjong, serene, wenxi and me still went to mac and eat.. then wenxi and me walked from hougang to sengkang, then we take cab, which is a considerable distance from home for me wahaha... thanks wenxi for the ride haha...

And yes! tml should have the chance to mahjong with terence, wenxi and serene wahaha... i am so happy...

Happy national day singapore... i love my country... i feel so blessed to be born here seriously...

I apologised for torturing the eyes of my readers lol... now i sounds like i am an author lolll... but its been so long since i blogged, so i have loads to share haha... but its just another boring post anyway haha... shall post some exciting pictures in future...

2007-07-14T00:08:00.000+08:00

I am tired...

I am tired, both mentally and physically... din go to school today... feels so sian whenever i am on mc... its like i missed so much of the lessons and i need to make up for it...

Stress is building up... piling up like a mountain... both internal and external stress:(

I am so troubled recently... but well i am living each day happily... but i still feel super sian.. smile hanqun:)

However, when i know my fren is happy, i feels super happy for her too haha... i believe she will know we all are happy for her also:)

When will all these ends? or is it they will haunt my life until my end reaches the end? haha... i am always in a battle... no less, but more haha...

Smile and smile... eventually i can cry with smile:)

Well i need to study for so many upcoming quizzes... tml still working, so is sunday... but for the sake of money haha... quitting in 5 weeks time haha... i need my weekends back... its been so long since i can have the weekends staying at home and stone haha... its boring but i simply needs the rest haha... and mahjong... i miss mahjong so much, but just dont get the chance to play... thats so sad... major route of happiness and destress is not in my hands haha...

Once i quit, that every saturday i must sleep and i must listen to this particular song -- 张悬 - 喜欢... its the song that makes me think of the past saturdays during my secondary school... its just the right song to be played during those afternoons haha...

I must remember to tell myself to be happy...

2007-07-12T20:48:00.000+08:00

Getting better...

Well i sort of getting better from all those unnecessary hurts... but now gotta pull through this crucial moment... my life is extraordinary:) i simply have so much difficulties to pull through... one by one, step by step, i hope i can finish walking this journey peacefully:)

Thanks to all those people behind me supporting me...

Went for a swim today after skool haha... feels so great and refreshing... when i am alone i tend to think alot, but of cuz positive side is pre-occupying my thoughts la haha.. i am happy everyday, with no sudden nonsense haha... my smile will forever be with me, and i will spread these smiles to everybody around me:)

How to do it? WHEEL OF FORTUNE... SPIN THE WHEEL~ BIG MONEY BIG MONEY *CLAP *CLAP *CLAP~

WAHAHA...

Gotta mug for bpharm later, which is alot... need to do well in all my subjects and no more slacking liao... jia you then...

2007-07-09T21:09:00.000+08:00

Feeling much better, should be ba:D

Thanks alot to all my friends... i am feeling so much better le haha.. thanks:)

Saturday is the long awaited meeting with wenxi, serene and terence wahaha... we went to Xin Wang Hong Kong cafe to eat and celebrate wenxi's bird dae haha... we worked out well as a team with me being the organiser, serene the executer (not that she executed someone haha, she just carry the plan out) and terence the actor haha...
Waiting for the pics to be uploaded haha...

As usual, we crapped our nite through haha... reached home at 540am and slept at 6... wake up at 8 and off to work i went hahah..

Meet up again at 430pm and off to changi villlage we went haha... had subway there and saw a handsome guy serving us lol... then we go chill and have fun at a 'shop' call bamboo if i am not wrong haha... play card games and we were all laughing like mad wahaha... did alot of daring things and serene ending up been the poor soul lol... cant wait for this coming sat haha...

Pon-ed bpharm today haha.. too tired to stay in school and i need to collect a letter from singapore post... need to do revision le haha... cannot always pon haha...

Went for a jog today too haha... its really been a long time since i last exercised, especially jogging haha... now my legs starts to feel the ache, but i guess with more jogging, i will get used to it de haha...

I seriously got upsetted by a conversation just now... maybe i did something wrong by pouring some sorrows of mine or whining to him... and maybe he is just too tired ba haha... but well i just need time to heal wounds again haha... i guess there isnt much more to say but just need to get used to it... i said before, we are born to get used to things haha...

Even things that i had done, out of good will can be distorted until like that, so what more can i say rite? haha... doing much for my fellow classmates and also for my cliques seems no use anyway haha... wrong msg given to me by the lecturers seems to be at the cost of my carelessness haha... i got pin-pointed and not the lecturers haha... maybe a message conveyers are meant to be the scrapgoats for the wrongs committed by the lecturers haha... or maybe out of good will helping others is a serious mistake haha... that wont stop me from helping out, since my heart is already numb... been hurted so deeply already, so anymore hurtings seems immuned to me wahaha... i am wearing a steel vest soon lol...

I am putting up a tour of wheel of fortune soon haha... contestants are the lecturers wahaha.. hopefully i can entertain my frens and let them enjoy and destress haha...

Need to start studying le haha... cuz wednesday got so many quizzes and graded assignments...

2007-07-05T22:39:00.000+08:00

Down...

I am feeling so down now...
But i will try to smile...
Its wrong to show my temper in front of my frens...
I dont want it either...
Feels so useless at times...
Cant stop things that ain suppose to happen...
What can i do?
I tried so hard but it keeps happening...
I feel like crying seriously...
I hate this,
I seriously hate this...
I cant be bothered anymore...
Leaving for good is the last decision ever...

2007-07-05T00:50:00.001+08:00

Love...

Just went to have supper with daddy and mummy... i seriously love the feelings haha... i am feeling so great when we go out together haha... i enjoyed and cherish every single moment with them... forever and ever:)

Went to prata with rah rah, jacilyn and cindy after school... all i can say is WE WERE CRAZY!!! LOL... i cant stop laughing when i was with them... especially the minna show put up by cindy and the BARBIE GIRL SONG by jacilyn and rah rah... they were mad la, so was i haha... its damn funny and i was laughing like mad there haha... whenever rah rah and jacilyn sing those stupid songs, i cant stop laughing till i feel like rolling on the floor and laugh lolll... this is pure crazy and i am lovin' it haha... i recorded down part of their stupid act, but it was TALENTED... KEEP IT UP BARBIE GIRLS~! LOLLL...

Got back my csas and last paper today... last 2 papers that i got back and i did badly... i know i will do badly for those papers anyway, so i dont feel that disappointed overall haha... but i needa buck up and work harder for the upcoming quizzes... shall not disappoint myself anymore...

Go for it hanqun!

Looking forward to saturday!!! haha...

2007-07-03T18:39:00.000+08:00

Happy moments...

Saturday was a disastrous day at work because there are too many people coming for last minute shopping due to the increment in GST that will take effect on sunday... but despite the fact that i am so busy and tired, i look forward to our outing later at nite at jalan kayu haha... prata-ing with wenxi, serene and terence haha... that makes me soooooo happy lor haha...

We had our prata there and guess what, serene's hand was itchy wahaha... so we suggested mahjong for one pok haha... they came to my house and then we had our mahjong wahaha...

After mahjong, i planned to go bath and sleep cuz i am working morning shift on sunday... a message from terence says they are gossiping downstairs haha... and i chiong down straight away wahaha...

We crapped and talked till about 6+ am.. and i went home to bath and sleep at around 7am... woke up at 815am and go to work haha... super shag cuz sunday nite i am having angela's wedding dinner haha...

I am feeling so happy when i got together with wenxi, serene and terence haha... its just so fun and relaxing... its simple but all of us enjoyed it... and now i looked forward this coming saturday one waahaha... where shall we go nix? lolll...

6 more weeks to the ending of my career in john little.. i deserve a break during weekends i guess... but alot of people dont let me quit haha... seowleng asked me not to quit surprisingly... she is not my manager, and she persuaded my not to give my this job of mine haha... i was so shocked when she say that... i dont feel like quitting is because of the pay here... and she asked me to work during my attachment and see whether i can cope anot, if cant then quit... i am still thinking about it, but 99% i am going to quit lol...

Saw beatrice at angela's wedding dinner... i tot i will be sitting with those promoter aunties, but angela put me in the same table as the managers... beatrice was there of cuz haha... and she asked me not to quit also haha... besides that she asked me to transfer to northpoint and help her... seowleng and beatrice are buey gam de lor haha... if i nv quit and go northpoint, seowleng will sure blow up lol... though i also dont like her that much haha... but well, i already told beatrice that most probably i am quitting haha... but i will go northpoint and become her temp staff when during my holiday haha... and she super funny, asked me not to say so loud cuz she dont want other manager to snatch me away lolll...

Tml i am getting back my LAST and CSAS4 results... thats the 2 papers that i have the least confidence in... hopefully i can score well...

Can saturday please come as soon as possible? i cant wait to meet them haha...

2007-06-29T00:01:00.000+08:00

The Lao Kok Kok Cat lolll...

Well went to have lunch at the newly opened foodcourt opposite our school today with ben, ah kim, shinfen, shihui and celine (ceiling? wei!)... on our way back to school, we saw this cute little creature... this cat sit like an uncle or ah pek lor.. lao kok kok one haha.. super funny but cute and adorable... its a female cat actually but not afraid of us, so i took advantage of her and take alot of pics... dont think y y haha...

"What a hot afternoon", said the cat.

"Shall enjoy myself here..."

"Look whether ah niao they all here anot..."

"All bo eng... nvm la kiao kar and la liang here 1st..."

"Sibei sian..."

Took back my SAPrn test paper... did very well... 41.5/50... yee mon counted wrongly... he gave me 40.5.. shall get back another one mark from him tml... i am so proud of myself this time round... shall work harder and not been complacent...

And heard that LAST 70% of the cohort fail... i might be one of them... so gotta get myself prepared...

Had LAST lab today and we did intraperitoneal injection of anaesthesia, and orbital sinus and intracardia blood collection. all i can say is this is the most successful lab me and sandy ever done... she restrainted the rat so well and i injected the anaesthesia intraperitoneally... and we did it in one shot, no bleeding and its at the correct spot... we were so proud of ourself... but i am still not confident in my restraining yet... the intracardia and orbital sinus blood collection for me is fine but i am pretty worried for sandy cuz she din managed to do it sometimes... jia you...

Well i believe someone in my class, whom i know he himself should know is him that i am referring to, did alot of silly, childish and retarded stuffs... i simply dont think he live up to his age as well been a vet student.. for the age of yours you are still not thinking with your pea-brain... or maybe you cant think.. i believe you need to learn from this experience... think before you do dude... even if you can do those practical work well, so what? you need not go around and give demoralising remarks... i know you enjoy seeking attention, but please do something sensible and not stupid... i had enough of your nonsense already... a vet student like you is totally a disgrace to our course frankly speaking... we vet students should treat all animals of different hierachical or social class equal and HUMANE... and not by the little stupid acts of yours... do you think turning a rat carcass is cool? do you think attracting attention at the cost of a poor soul is fun? you just cant let a poor soul rest in peace, and count yourself as an animal lover... yes it's a rat, so? it sacrificed for our sake of learning and not for your sake of sadisism... i seriously think that you need a psychiatrist... if you ever read this post of mine, please think and change your attitude, because it simply sucks...

2007-06-26T22:22:00.000+08:00

Chilling out @ Happy Daze...

Me and serene...

Me and serene again:)

This is what i drink... 3C... 3 types of citrus fruits - lemon, lime and orange...

I dont drink de lor.. so i drink 3C onli haha...

Terence and me haha... got to touch his head before it starts growing.. oops:D

Wenxi and me...

Wenxi and terence...

Wenxi and serene...

Whiskey + coke... i dont drink de haha... realli i dont drink...

Stupid face hor serene oopssssssss lolll...

Act cute no.1 haha...

Act cute no.2 hahaha...

Do i look drunk? i haven start drinking yet leh...

Now i gonna start liao lol...

Bo pian... plae 终极密码 then i lost... so need to drink...

Cheers with wenxi! NG LOLLL...

Cheers again haha...

Again and again and again haha...

Sibei suay... lost the 2nd time haha... drink in one shot after i cheers with wenxi:D

Shaky hands haha...

Funny faces lol...

Back to normal haha...

The cuties LOL... not forgetting wenxi haha...

Me and wenxi again... haha...

The bestest four haha... i love them haha...

Me and wenxi for dunno how many times hahahaa...

Serene acting sexy... fail... wei haha...

Brotherssss...

2 chio bus surrounding the fortunate guy haha...

Dating... wei! lol...

3some... wei haha...

Poor shot by me due to my short hands... Big head well featured lol...

A better one with terence's hand... longer ma lol... No other meanings haha...

We got someone to take for us eventually lol... the four of us rocks...

Chilling out at happy daze that night was fun... we were like crapping and laughing out hearts out haha... i really enjoy hanging out with them especially when i am sad haha... we dont noe each other well until mahjong bring us together haha... and now we will always be there for one another...

Got back some of my results yesterday... bpharm and ahdis2... ahdis2 is really a gift away.. i tot at most i can get 30++... in the end i got 43/50 haha... super happy lor... and bpharm wise is really a sub that i put in alot of effort and i got back what i should haha... 30.5/40... well done hanqun... must continue to work hard haha...

I missed my biomed frens liao haha... just 2 days lol...

2007-06-25T00:21:00.000+08:00

School's starting tml:)

Finally after 2 weeks of craziness, school is starting once again haha... a mixture of feelings as usual... kind of looked forward, but reluctant... sounds contradicting, but thats because i miss my bed haha... but well... its a fact and i am facing it with my full optimism... jia you hanqun... gotta work hard for this coming term...

Received pics from wenxi le haha... but shall upload tml though now i am stoning in front of the computer and listening to some nice songs haha...

Well i am getting back my results tml i suppose... kind of confident for not failing any single subjects, but i am scare cuz confidence sometimes hurts haha...

Most importantly, i must not be complacent if i got good results...

Good luck to myself and my frens around me:)

2007-06-24T17:48:00.000+08:00

Happening week...

Well the whole of this week is happening...

Monday and tuesday mahjong
Wednesday shopping @ marina square and bbq @ pasir ris park
Thursday suki sushi @ paradiz center
Friday chiling out @ Happy daze

Lost alot during monday and tuesday mahjong session haha... but well i am just so happy when i can get to gather with wenxi, serene and terence haha...

Before i mahjong on monday, i went to chingwei's house... at 1st wanna complete some parts of my project, but in the end went there and play 02 JAM haha... chingwei intro this game to me... and thanks to him, this game accompanied me during this week as well... if not i will die of boredom sia haha...

Wednesday chingwei, ciliang, boonching and me went to marina square and shop for alex's present haha... but all the ideas i gave de leh... LOL... and yes, i suggested the newurbanmale party tank top haha... alex has the figure ma, so he will look nice when he wear it... i tried for him, but my bulging fats is not suitable for that haha... so alex, please dont say with sarcasm i have muscle liao leh hahaha...

After going there, i went to pasir ris park for our vet science BBQ haha... had fun down there when we crapped our time out... saw someone drunk lolll... or is he realli drunk? mmm... i dunno haha...

Thursday went to paradiz centre for suki sushi with enerG_Y, doreen, dorothy, june, kailin and wengfat... the food there is nice haha... and we celebrated doreen's and alex's birthday, a very belated one... haha... thats considered a small departure from my best buddies... they are going for their attachment and now i cant get to see them so often le... maybe only when i quitted from my john little job... its kind of sad actually... but well that doesnt mean forever haha... we will still get a chance to meet out de, hopefully:)

Friday i went to chill out with wenxi, serene and terence at happy daze haha... its so fun and sad... i dont drink de actually, but when we playing 猜拳 and 终极密码, i lost, so nid to drink haha... wenxi and i cheers and compete who drink faster haha... it was my 1st time doing that haha... we crapped alot and alot and alot..........

No matter what, you will not be alone... you got us! we will always be with you okie... cheer up:) give my a call when u need me alrite? i will always be there for you...

Haha took alot of photos during those outings.. shall upload them once i got it haha...

I am happy when i have all my friends around me... its realli a great feeling with them around me when i am down and sad... i will be strong... and i must be strong... jia you hanqun...

No matter how sad i am, i wont forget to smile:D

2007-06-19T13:50:00.000+08:00

I just want a simple and happy life...

Crying at this time may be siao ba i guess... but i just wanna let out my stress... i just feel troubled, worried and helpless... maybe i am weak ba, but i felt better after crying...

Hopefully later mahjong can let me lighten my mood... hope can win also...

I just want a simple and happy life... is it too much for me asking for that?

2007-06-17T00:14:00.000+08:00

Meatballers...

Today i received a red bomb, as what others have said haha... its actually an invitation to angela's wedding dinner.. i dont think its a bomb lor... and we are good frens, so its an honour to be invited haha... 1st July... i will be going haha...

Now i look forward to monday whereby i can get to eat my meatballs... LOLLL... i nid the meatballs to lighten up my life haha...

2007-06-15T16:15:00.000+08:00

Staying at home...

Lonely, I am so lonely, but i'm quite happy, all on my own~~

Lol... change abit of akon's lyrics haha... feels quite lonely when i am at home doing nothing but staring at the com... but heng i have baby haha... sometime i will feel abit wierd and the loneliness is just so strong haha... but sometime i will feel quite happy to stay at home and do nothing but sleep... kind of contradicting la haha... but one thing i can be sure of is when i am alone at home with baby, i will start to think of the unforseen fears and worries...

I am not a perfectly happy guy i suppose... there are simply just to many things for me to handle and solve... but i just got a pair of hands... but i guess all these has to be in a step by step basis... so i just hope everything will go smoothly, step by step...

Smile hanqun:D haha... i believe my smile will always be there and make my frens around me happy haha... one thing sad is all my bms frens are going for their attachment soon... thats kind of sad for me la cuz my bestest buddies are going off... but well, i believe we can always meet up haha... hopefully~

I need to finish my bpharm by tonight haha.. then i can sleep all i want haha... later must watch kangxi lai le cuz its just so funny.. it will be my 3rd time watching it wahaha...

Sian, tml working again haha... please dont extend any hours can... i feel so sian... hopefully my attachment will be like my bms frens, weekends free haha...

Alritez... back to rotting session wahaha...

2007-06-12T22:22:00.001+08:00

Mahjong indulgence...

Wahaha i am so happy during these few days lolll... what makes me happy? mahjong of cuz... i am easily satisfied... played mahjong on fridae with serene, xavier and kanghwee, but lost 20 bucks... bo pian... super suay haha... then mahjong again with serene, kanghwee and wenxi on sundae... this time round it was so funny... we played from 830pm, and guess what time i played until? 7am in the nix morning haha... super tired but we were like laughing like mad haha... cracked alot of nonsensical jokes lor haha... so funny... lost 16 bucks though... and whats power is i slept at 7.15am and wake up at 12pm and go auntie lily's house to play mahjong again wahaha...

So i went to auntie lily's house with 4 hour plus of sleep onli haha... meet melvin at causeway point.. 1st time to there and see the 2 john little outlets there... wow it was a big mess totally, but the sales there was great haha... melvin became a manager there and looks that he is pretty stress haha... jia you then... so after meeting we went to auntie lily's house and play mahjong haha... 1st round i won 60cents, but i din take la cuz we always round off as a figure haha... so no win no lose lor... 2nd round won 9 bucks haha... every round change ppl to play... and finally the 3rd round i play with the pros... and we play big... 20 40 with 5 tais 6.40, 12.80 haha... 1st time play so big haha.. though i played bigger before :x haha... lost 10 over bucks initially until one auntie beat 5tais for me wahaha... recoup back when i game more haha... eventually won 16 bucks haha... overall won 25 bucks...

Then i rush for the last bus 965 to go back to sengkang, however i was too late... auntie lily's husband use bicycle and ride me to the bus stop.. so good of him la... and its been a long time since someone use bicycle to ride me... last time was gor gor... i miss the old days haha... so fun la last nite haha... then i bo pian i take 969 to tampines interchange cuz i cant be possibly taking taxi back to sengkang from woodlands, so i take 969 to tampines and take cab there so i can save abit more... but yesterdae nite was too blur liao lor... before i hop into a cab, i go 7-11 buy you magazine, but i bot the last week issue which i din realise until i got up the cab... so damn stupid rite.. i was thinking the cover looks so familiar then i realised it was last week's issue... good joke lolll... bo pian lor wasted 2 bucks... can tear out the laihock's pic and show shawn, jacinth, cornie and jacinth they all tml haha... the cab fare cost me 10 bucks exactly... so it was pretty alrite for midnight charge...

Went 7-11 again to buy THIS WEEK'S ISSUE of you magazine haha... but i saw the 明星偶像黄严里, the one that acted as lan cai he in the alvin and joanna peh show 凡是新仙人... he was at rivervale plaza lor... going to mac and meet his group of frens... i look at him, he look back, but i was talking to my mum on the phone, so i bo chup him... but he is super fit la haha...

So happening right haha...

Bernard oso msged me yesterday and ask me to go jurong point and do my appraisal... win liao lor... initially i agreed to meet him today, but in the end i think better dont... wah biang travel down to jp just to do that thing, abit waste of time and money lor lol... so i geng an excuse and ask him to come and do for me and auntie laywah's one at ps this coming sunday... but he called me eventually and we do it through the phone haha... he told me the my appraisal was the 2nd best and the best one was daphne's one cuz she is going to be promoted to manager ma... so i was quite happy to noe that la haha... but too bad i cant get the pay increment cuz i am leaving already haha.. so bo pian lor...

Alritez i shall go pom pom now and later go eat mee sua with mum cuz its her bird day tml! haha... and most importantly, later i need to chiong my bpharm project haha...

2007-06-08T16:07:00.000+08:00

Sianz...

Today is the end of paper... haha... dont think i will do well for csas cuz my ang mor realli cannot make it haha...

Haha i tot today i am able to go out and eat with my frens... but now i am at home stoning haha... its kind of disappointed actually and i just feel pretty sad haha... what is there to sad about? nvm la... i just try not to think so much haha... why bother to make my life miserable over this haha... but this is my 1st time that din do anything special after any major tests or exam... maybe thats why i feel so wierd ba haha... i need to get used to living a simply life, though my life is already very simply wahaha...

Went to buy XL chicken cutlet to reward myself after these few days' hard work haha... just a wierd feeling when i am eating that haha...

Maybe today is just meant for me to go and sleep ba haha... thats nothing left for me to do except sleeping haha...

My root hasnt been leaving that piece of ground, but i just cant get hold of it... why is it like that? i dont know... this is life i guess... i need to learn to accept facts haha...

Well now i shall go and sleep and try to burrow everything in my dream haha... once i am awake, it will be a brand day haha...

2007-06-08T10:54:00.000+08:00

So sleepy...

Woke up at 8am todae haha... did nothing but watching tv lol... just now do abit of revision for csas, which i dont even noe whats going to be tested lor hahaha... but well just hope that the paper is easy for me cuz my ang mor is those cannot make it one...

And now i left with 1 hour before going to school... paper starts at 1... finally that marks the end of the term test... sign of relieve...

My eyes closing soon... omg hahah... think later in the bus i sure sleep like siao wahaha...

2007-06-07T20:23:00.001+08:00

Soon it will be over:)

Yay left one more paper tml which is CSAS4... soon it will be over and i can enjoy myself wahaha...

Today's paper is bpharm and ahdis2... i was mugging the whole of last nite... spent too much time on ahdis and in the end nearly not enough time for bpharm... i was like so damn stress la when i took 3+ hours on topic 3 alone... and worst still is i dunno how to do the calculations lol... tat time was 6am and out of anxiousness, i called jinshun straight haha.. sorry bro to wake u up from ur sweet dreams... and i left with 2 hours to study topic 1 and 2 and 1 more hour for major revision... what i did? just simply chiong through and see the possible thing that might come out haha... heng sia... all those thing that i focus came out lolll... but i was so damn stress when i reached school to practice the calculations... i cant do a single one lor... but dunno why when i see the calculation question in the paper i just got the idea on how to solve it... but still got some careless mistakes haha... hopefully my answer and steps can earn me marks...

So overall bpharm was pretty easy, or should i sae managable haha... lets talk about ahdis2...

I spent sooooo longgg to study for it la... and alot of thing i just simply dunno how to do haha... the last question was like "derrrr", how he phrase la? lolll... what to do, gotta ask him what the question is lor haha... but heng i just shit on the paper lor... shit out what i memorised haha... hopefully can get 35/50... the paper is not difficult actually.. just abit dunno what he is asking hahah...

Yay finally left csas onli lol... i can go chiong liao le wahaha... but from yesterday till now, i din sleep for 28hours le lolll... superman!

Today did an atopsy of shawn and jacinth and we were laughing like mad wahaha... so damn funny lor lolll... relieve stress haha...

Just now was reading http://laozhabor.blogspot.com/ and was laughing like mad oso hahaha... cant believe is it realli her that is bloggin lor... her ang mor and style of speech is so young la... lol... lao zha bor... xiao ta bor here saluting to you haha...

I betted on one soccer match tonight... hopefully can win haha... need money $_$

2007-06-06T00:02:00.000+08:00

Right decision made lolll...

Yea i made a right decision by betting on soccer match haha... i won wahahaha.... 19 bucks lol... can save it up haha...

Oh i suddenly forgot that coming mondae i am going to auntie lily's house to mahjong... super paiseh to cornie, jacinth and shawn.. can we fix another day to watch shrek instead... so sorryzzz... no wonder i still feel monday i got something on but i cant recall... pai seh leh~

Alritez gotta start mugging for bpharm and ahdis2... jia you jia you...

And cornie dont be sad okie:) concentrate on the rest of ur papers.. jia you~!

2007-06-05T17:17:00.001+08:00

Hard work paid off...

Well today's SAPrn is quite easy... and i spotted the main question out haha... hope can get at least 40 upon 50 lolll... my hard work is finally paid off for this paper haha... LAST wise is a goner... just hope that i can get 35/50 cuz the weightage for this paper is simply too big... good luck to me and to my dearest friends...

Seriously now i need alot of sleep haha... i am tooooo tired le... din sleep at all last nite and now i need to recoup back all my energy once and for all lol... and i need to work hard for bpharm and ahdis2.. i believe i can make it through as well haha... jia you...

Got the urge to buy soccer today leh loll... think after bloggin i will go buy haha...

Yawn~ lol...

2007-06-02T13:49:00.000+08:00

Self-Discipline...

Yawn~

Just woke up haha.. and still haven have my lunch yet... going to plaza to buy laksa wahaha... my favourite lol... and need to help mum to buy 4D oso.. but that tempts me to buy soccer loll... see 1st ba...

Today is the start of revision.. seriously i need to start.. if not i wont have time to complete everything.. i dont wanna fail haha... i need self-discipline to keep me going... if not i sure sleep the whole day... target today is to complete SAPrn...

Alritez off to get my lunch:D

2007-05-31T15:41:00.000+08:00

Disappointment = Drive to work harder

Yesterday wasnt the good day for me until nite haha... the whole afternoon i was super restless and abit disappointed... i believe i am not a good message conveyer, or i dont haf the importance to be listened... but well, i did whatever i am supposed to and still, people might not want to give it an acknowledgement... its alrite... i just feel that helping out isnt a good thing cuz 1stly, there are people who just dont give u the appreciation, and secondly, when u did the wrong thing, all of them will just shoot u down.. so sometime i was wondering whats the point of doing it.. friends just keep me going, but i wonder how long can i stand strong hahahah...

Got back my bpharm today.. 15/28 was a pathetic score for a person who studied.. felt super sad and disappointed initially.. but once i sort out my thought, i arrived to this conclusion:

Disappointment = Drive to work harder

Thats what i am thinking now, and i will work harder... i dont wanto disappoint myself again and again haha...

At night, i was having my dinner and watching tv... kanghwee called me! lolll.. asking for mahjong haha... i was so damn excited and happy la hahah... and we meet at terence house for mahjong at 830 lol... thats the best man lolll... all my stress are relieved lol...

Alrite i got a couple of things to complete by today, but i am falling sick soon... yesterdae was just the onset.. during CSAS, i zao xia-ed when i raised my voice haha... and while playing mahjong, i was couging like nobody's business haha... and now, i cant tok loll... gotta drink alot of water liao...

Cheer up hanqun:D

2007-05-30T00:14:00.000+08:00

-_-lll

Today is simply a day of time wastage lolll... but still manage to do alot of important things though... however, my lesson today starts at 9, and i woke up at 9! lolll... all thanks to cheng chong cuz he called me to ask for brandon or ruth's no. lol... if not i wont wake up one lor haha...

Pia cab of cuz haha... no time to wait...

So here's a list of places i went today...

- School
- Tampines mall popular
- School
- Hougang mall popular
- Home

All thanks to ms chew la... i am super pissed when she push all the blame on me... what the fuck is that? u asked me to wait for u until 4, yes, i waited... then? juz because i am 20 minutes late then u grumbled so much of shit for what? i waited for u for a pathetic 4 hours and i didnt even say a thing... it seems that i always kanna blamed by her... for the sake of my class i oso kanna... for myself i oso... really felt super pissed...

Forget it then.. i just wanna do well in all my subjects...

Tml is another long day... and i will be getting back my bpharm and last quizzes if not wrong.. hope the results wont be disastrous...

Received my fairprice plus card today haha.. its a debit card haha... i am going to figure out how to use it... but i plan to use this ocbc account to save for future needs...

Starhub sent mum a 350 bucks voucher... in order to use it, mum has to sign up a mobile plan and renew my maxonline... both for another 2 years... well its a great deal as once mum signed up for the mobile plan, she becomes a hubber and can enjoy more priviledges... and they will also give mum one more phone as free gift.. but its not a fantastic one la hahha... but i get to use that 350 dollars voucher... and i am so tempted to buy N95 lolll...

2007-05-29T01:38:00.000+08:00

Gotta work hard...

Just finished editing my CSAS resume and cover letter... and i hope it will be alrite lol...

Went to robinsons today to buy a new pair of shoe haha... its been a long time since i buy shoes le... so happy haha...

Tml having school from 9-12... LAST lab... heard that we are handling rats this time round... sian.. i expect more bites and more bleeding... kind of scare since a tiny mice's bite can be so pain...

Tml onwards i need to start my revision le... and finish whatever undone assignments, but the pressing one is csas only, which had to be handed in on wednesday and i have already finished it... hope tml after Ms Chew reviewed it and there is no major problems haha...

So tired... going to sleep soon lol... but just feel super worried about my dad's condition... it doesnt seems better yet... and mum is so worried too.. i am scare that she will collapse too...

Baby lee too... my poor baby lee is scratching all over again... haiz... and her poor elbow has left permenant scars and disfigurement... i am sorry baby... help u pom pom tml okie...

Alrites please enjoy this song in my blog haha... its super nice... i am going to think for chinese lyrics for it... but meanwhile, i going to shit 1st before it can be uploaded to my blog haha...

2007-05-27T01:08:00.000+08:00

Shagged...

Today realli sibei sian lol... i went to work in the morning, and they say i came the wrong shift.. diaoz... auntie jane plan wrongly i supposed.. but well, wat done is done... and worst thing is, i need to work full... but heng i came morning, auntie janet mc, then whole store onli manager seowleng, and supervisor normalah.. if i never come they will die lolll...

Nvm, time passed pretty fast today haha... and tml i can claim my ro and go back at 1pm... going to robinsons to shop haha... heard that nike and adidas are on sale... going to take a look at it haha...

Bendy came and have dinner with me today... dont worry bro, i will always be there to back you up no matter what difficulties... take care...

Today is kehan's last day... wah lao so envious lor... how i wish it was mine too.. realli cannot tahan those freaks there... 3 more months...

Counting down my days...

2007-05-26T01:23:00.000+08:00

Condusive environment for study is finally done...

Well i finally finished packing both of my rooms lol.. and now my study room is clean, tidy and makes it a really condusive environment to study haha... gotta study hard for the upcoming term test cuz i got 2 days with 2 papers on that day, and those papers are tough! lol... hope i can make it... jia you to me haha...

Tml working B morning... and its the last day for kehan... feels so happy for him to leave this place of disaster... but the pay is simply too good le la lolll... my turn soon... 3 months should be fast lol... bear with it... haha...

Alrites gotta plan out what i am going to do le cuz i somehow kanna bombarded with assignments now haha... systematic~ lolll...

I have so many nice songs to share, but i can onli put one in my blog lol... but well i doubt anyone would enjoy the song of my taste hahaha...

Went diana's house to plae with those doggies haha... its simply too cute liao la... hazel! haha... but i still need time to noe all of their RESPECTIVE names lolll... all of those cuties grew so fast... jeep jeep is so fat lolll... but i like co co and hazel... because both are nutz WEI lolll... coconut and hazelnut lol...

Life is simply a game of choices... left or right? up or down? this or that? yes or no? do or dont? and many other more... dilenma is always there... but well, misunderstandings are inevitable, and i am already used to it haha...

Alrites... off i go to listen to my songs haha...

2007-05-24T22:09:00.000+08:00

The weakness of life...

Jerry is the mice for me and sandy... it is adorable and active... but he has left us for heaven... i really thank you for the sacrifice... i am really sorry too... i knew this day will come sooner or later, but i just din expect it to be today...

We did collection of blood from the eye and heart... and also subcutaneous and intraperitoneal injection... my jerry simply passed out once the collection of blood from his eyes... and off he went to heaven...

I cried... and in fact most of us cried... i realli cannot stand that sadness... i took the life away... the poor life...

It just simply show the weakness site of me... and of cuz i admit that i am a crybaby haha... i believe i am not up to become a vet... both my quality and emotions... but i will still do my best in future... it just simply gives me the energy for me to move on... i will not let you down jerry... thanks for the precious blood you have given to me... i will not waste it...

One more thing to add on... a bird that some students took to Dr Jomer, was killed by nightcrawler and felix... i was like stunted when i saw it... its damn sad and angry... i just feel like giving both the cats one big tight slap... but what done is done... may the bird and the rest of the mouse rest in peace...

I just need time to calm down...

2007-05-22T22:15:00.001+08:00

Starting to feel the stress...

Din spend my whole day sleeping today cuz i have alot of things to finished... did my LAST research until 3am last nite, but its still a bad piece of work done... i tried my best though...

CSAS wise i tried, but my english cannotS make it though... din noe how to do most of the exercises... just anyhow do... heng my resume is done and cover letter has little to amend...

LAST quiz tml and now i haven read a single thing.. and my eyes are closing anytime haha... so tired lolll... *yawns

Won soccer today haha... anyhow buy, anyhow win lolll... just got the urge to buy today, so i just buy lor lol... and heng i won hahahahah...

Gotta save the money i won, but i just got the cravings for seoul garden lolll...

2007-05-21T22:31:00.000+08:00

Gotta push myself...

Had AHDis 2 tutorial quiz and bpharm quiz today haha... AHDis 2 is a goner straight haha... wanto to revise but forget to bring notes lolll... Good joke haha...

As for bpharm wise, its a simple paper... realli its super easy.. but i just cant get any addition mark to get a B+ i suppose haha... praying hard that i will get a B haha... gotta buck up...

Oh well things dont go smoothly for me during these few days... so many things happened haha... i shall talk about it in sequence...

Sun : din go to work cuz gotta stay at home to take care of dad... i messaged auntie jane to inform duty manager... cuz i am not sure who in charge in the morning... auntie jane already workin in the morning, so i am not afraid or worried that morning nobody to cover... and soon after i messaged, my manager, kamal called me and give me a thrashing...

Kamal: Why you never come to work?

Me: I have to take care of my dad today, i messaged auntie jane already.

Kamal: Why u never sae earlier? dont think that i am easy going then you all can take me for granted.

Me: I am not those people whom u are refering to, and as if i noe my dad would be sick like that... if i noe i still tell you at this time... this is realli unfair to me you noe anot... i am not like those person you are refering to and you just scold me like them... what is this? not as if morning nobody working... i already come last week when i am sick then now you still say this type of thing?

After i scolded him, his attitude changed, 360 degree changed... i hate people dont use their brain but asshole to think... i dont care whether you are a manager or who, i will just scold if you are the one raising your voice at me whereby i am not wrong... i just cant stand working in john little anymore, seriously... out of the 2 years there i never felt this way before... guess the enviroment really sucks bad nowadays... i still got 3 months to persevere through... please let me have my peaceful days during these 3 months...

Then as for today... went to collect CSAS exercise and all... and guess what ms chew said...

Ms Chew: I was looking for you the whole day during friday and i cant find you... i even went up to the lab and find you all...

Me: I had lesson since 8 to 340pm... after my lesson i came to find you and you were not around...

Then she gave stupid face...

I suppose sure alot people grumble that why i give out the notes and all at this time... but well, i hope people can put themselve into my smelly shoe haha... i did what i am supposed to le... haiz... i am not the one volunteering to do all these, its juz that its good to help others... but well, its kind of sad whereby so many misunderstandings but people might not understand the reasons behind it haha... especially my own teacher... pretty disappointed though... i expect another series of thrashing again during wednesday... i still have a few sets of notes for CSAS, and i am not sure whether those are the extras or people simply didnt take... i made my announcement loud and clear but i guess there might still be lost sheeps all around haha... guess i did a very bad job in all these... maybe i shall just wash my hands out from these...

So demoralised... i think that i am a good worker in john little... and what i got is this type of shit haha... its kind of sad isnt it? people dont appreciate what you did, they onli see the front and being stereotypic... but i still not those type of people that always care for myself and being selfish one...

Nevermind, tml will be a new day... but meanwhile i got a list of things to complete before i am going to spend the whole day reading for my LAST quiz haha...

- CSAS cover letting 2nd draft
- CSAS editing exercise
- CSAS job fit
- LAST research

All these must be done by tonight haha... gotta push myself through cuz i just slept 2 hours onli haha...

I need to save for baby's medical fee once again haha... gotta be thrifty as well lol...

2007-05-21T03:07:00.000+08:00

This is not the time lol...

Well i shouldnt be here at this time now haha... but i doubt i am going to sleep cuz i still left with topic 3.1 to 3.4 of pharmacokinetics haha... gotta study later once my milo is ready wahaha...

Tml AHDis 2 tutorial quiz is sure a goner for me cuz i still dunno what the notes are saying haha... but well, if i got the time later, i will read through once again haha...

I have so much to say right now, but as i am typing, my eyes are closing haha... so i cannot afford to talk so much right now... this is not the time... i will talk more tml...

Alritez i shall make my milo now with biscuits haha.. yum yum...

2007-05-18T22:57:00.000+08:00

Wonderful day...

Well today is the day that i looked forward to haha... cuz there is apel! and i can get to see my dearest E15 again lol... though i get to see them around in school, but the frequency is becoming lower and lower and some of them are going for attachment soon... the biomed ppl... super sad la... finally i can get to board the same bus with ciliang and chingwei today... for the 1st time after 4 weeks in school lolll... well i will definitely miss them once they go for their attachment, especially my ENERG_Y... though they always go pub and clubbing without me T_T lolll... but i will love them forever, erm they sounds sooo... but they are my best buddies... now i so look forward for term break cuz all of us will get a chance to get together... but before that, i wishes them all the best because it seems like all of them are struggling like mad... projects and more projects, together with reports and presentations... i can see people that seldom online, or often appear offline starting to float up to the surface in msn LOLLL... and yes, its u phuiyuen WAHAHA...

Jia you guys~! you all can make it de... dont so stressed up okie:D dorothy, no more peng san k... lol...

Yesterday i went to the zoo... well its fun when u hang out with people whom u are closed with... but we got caught in the rain when we were strolling around during our free and easy time, making us late for our lab lesson lol... heng diana got car... thanks alot diana... u are like our mum LOLLL...

But well, today isnt a good day to upload the pics, once i got the time i will upload all de...

Today kanna bitten by a mice during LAST lol... i believe its because the mice is still super stressed up and not used to the restrainer, thats why it bite out of fear... heng i was the one to start the restraint 1st, cuz its better for me to kanna bitten than sandy kanna haha... and once the mice bite me, blood gushes out lolll... as if the tap is open loll... frankly speaking its super pain haha... but well, we gotta get used to it... did gavaging and ear notching... pretty sad for the tiny mice.. kanna all these thing... me and sandy named it as jerry haha... and its no.5 lol... sorry jerry, we need to do alot of things again on you next time... bear with it k...

And well, bpharm today was a goner lol... the lab is simply too difficult.. plus i am so tired that i appeared to be dysfunctional during the whole lab session lol... so i did my stuffs so slowing that not surprisingly, i ended up being the last one to hand in lol.. and i noe how to do actually, but just din put into practice... haiz... low self-esteem that causes it again... should have voiced out and do it straight, and not just feel scare and not trying it... jacinth and shawn thought of it after that, but its too late... i should haf said earlier sia, so all of us got the time to salvage the disaster we all made lolll...

Anyway, what done is done, i believe there are more challenges to come... gotta plan my time well and study liao cuz bpharm quiz is on monday and LAST quiz is on wednesday... jia you too hanqun lolll... and oso my Wet science people...

Now i gotta pack my room liao, though its super late... cuz i haf no time to pack it actually, since i am free now haha... i need a clean and tidy room before i got the mood to study haha...

2007-05-16T23:13:00.000+08:00

Off to zoo~!

Omg now i am super excited haha... cuz tml i will be going to zoo haha.. gotta remember to take loads of pics lolll... however, we cant stay there for the whole day because for my class, we still got lesson to attend in the afternoon, so gotta come back to school to attend haha.. bo pian... we cant always ask Dr Jomer to change the timeslot... he himself is coming back with us...

But well, dont worry.. i am going to ask HR and borrow the zoo pass haha... so that i can ask they all to go during the term break... however i can onli bring 3 more ppl including me haha... but at least we can split the cost if more ppl going ma haha... gotta plan this out...

Need to wake up early tomorrow haha... super early.. but i am super excited haha... plan to buy hotdog bun before i go school haha... i wanto eat my hotdog bun hahaha...

Today got back my MCT log book lol... its the subject i took last sem lolll... and now i got it back haha... paul ask us to keep properly cuz maybe we will need it nix time haha... its graded haha... and i got one outstanding score, 90/100 lolll... thats totally out of my expectation... i copy paste everything in and i can score sooooo high... maybe as what shawn has said, he mark according to names... cuz he say cornie and i cute lolll... so both of us got fantastic score for it... but i believe cornie and i got the ability de lol... not onli that we are cute... we are not like other people who are not cute, but act until we cannot stand it lolll... its totally out of the acceptable range and it hits the trigger of our vomiting response lolll... all of us puke bad wahaha... but well, what done is done... we can only look forward this sem haha... jia you then...

Gotta study for bpharm and last le cuz nix week got quizzes for it... both subject i am super lost, so gotta spend the time i have to study and not playing liao lolll...

2007-05-15T22:24:00.000+08:00

Tired, but gotta persevere...

Walao now i am super sleepy lol... but i haven finish revising my AHDis 2... gotta persevere till then end lol...

Well Yee Mon never fails to make me surprised... how he reply email is classic lolll... i was laughing my way throughout when i see the email he replied me...

Btw there is AHDis 2 practical this thursday, so remember to bring lab coat along... despite the fact that i am going to the zoo lol... well free pass for whole day in the zoo doesnt work out for TF05, cuz we need to go back to the school for lab lol... but well, i am so excited to go... nevertheless, i will pray hard that shawn can go too... *cross finger...

Alritez, gotta get back to study mode liao... though my sleepy spells are starting to work on me, guess i need a cup of tea, especially green tea...

2007-05-15T15:55:00.000+08:00

Flu's catching me up..

I cannot let the flu catch me...
I am going to run faster...
Which means i am going to rest lolll...
So its nap time...

2007-05-15T00:00:00.000+08:00

Sick and tired...

Well i am so tired until i kanna bad headache and slight fever today.. then again, cant go to school for quiz today... AHDis 2 quiz... gotta stress again and study liao cuz i dont wanna do bad for this 1st quiz...

I still haven rest enough, so i gonna sleep soon and sleep like nobody's business haha... then i am going to chiong studies liao lol...

I shall not get any clues from my fren this time round cuz i wanna see where i stand haha...

Today i went polyclinic to see doctor... its damn cheap but hafta wait for a very long time haha... heard someone quarrel with another one lol... somemore the one kp-ing claimed that he juz came back from mental hospital lolll... but well thats none of my business haha...

I asked the doctor about my hair too, and he juz simply refer me to the national skin centre... so i hope i can get a cure there... my appointment date will be on the 18th june...

Today after my consultation, i went to 4D shop and help mum to buy toto and help kehan to claim the money he won, but i just got the urge to bet on something *dont learn huh lol...* so i juz see the S League and buy the woodlands vs korean reds... this is my 1st time buying s league and i have no idea what these 2 teams are haha... so i anyhow buy 4 goals lor lol... and i WON wahaha... going to claim my money tml lol...

List of things i am going to do tml...

- Study AHDis 2
- Study bpharm
- Study LAST
- Claim my winning ticket
- Pay hp bills

Well i am super hungry now... going to grab a bite and sleep liao lol..

2007-05-12T00:14:00.000+08:00

Problematic...

Problems, problems and more problems... when can everything be solved? i am seriously tired... baby is scratching once and again and dad's condition deteriorates... i am so tired and mum is devastated by the stress and tireness... i seriously need help from the heaven, and i know that heaven already helped us alot and make us pull through until we reached today...

I am so troubled...

But now i wanna sleep... its simply too tiring for me...

2007-05-10T22:53:00.000+08:00

Spiderman 3 was great!!!

Went to watch spiderman 3 with phuiyuen just now haha... its a great movie lolll... py and i were like joking about some of the scenes, and she cant stand peter's emo hair haha... i find it alrite though, but we still prefer the smart looking him lol... mary jane is pretty and harry is super handsome lol... and what he did for peter is so touching lol...

However, great movie like this is disrupted by inconsiderate people... phone rang with elva's old song... win liao lor... but whats worst is there is one china lady... her phone rang, and she still pick it up and TALK LOUDLY... like what the hell la! py was like $&^%(&%#$ and me too lolll... this is not the 'climax', she still talk with her fren loudly.. what the f**k is that?! i am not being national-discrimination, and no offense here, but what she did was unbearable and irritating... i believe they dont understand what spiderman is showing la, so they talk and talk and talk... i realli cannot tahan this type of inconsiderate and crappy people...

Lesson ended at 1230 today... and all of us went mensa to eat... after that, me and shawn went library to rest.. he has to wait until 630 for his water polo training and i gotta wait for py to finish her lesson... initially her lesson should end at 4, so i waited from 130 to ard 330, then she msg me her lesson is going to end at 6pm.. omg lolll... but since i already waited, so continue to wait lor wahaha... i was sleeping for the 1st 1.5 hours... and its damn hot in the library la... maybe the place i sit is not correct lol... thank god got shawn to accompany me lor, if not i will die of boredom lol... thanks alot shawn...

All this waiting is worth it cuz spiderman 3 is a great movie lolll...

Alritez, hungry liao... going to have my dinner wahaha...

2007-05-09T23:21:00.000+08:00

An analogy. How maglinant tumour spread?

Well, its not logical to talk about molecular biology right now haha... juz going to share what i have experienced today haha...

Have you ever wonder how people malign others? well its like how malignant tumour or cancer cells spread... there will always be a source, and this source, which in fact is a super unreliable one, will spread like malignant tumour or cancer cells as they have the ability to metastasize... and eventually, these malignant cells will reach the target organ/s and 'malign' it...

How malignant cells spread? or how normal cells become malignant? or cuz there are alot of ways or modes haha... one of the prominent one is virus... virus has the ability to induce mutations and eventually turns a normal cell to become malignant... this malignant cell will go and affect target organ or organs haha... wow that sounds chim for those people who never take molecular biology right? haha... i will tell you about how this analogy works...

I am the target organ, and together with my fellow frens, we are the target organs lol... and people who come and malign me and confront me is actually a normal cell that turns malignant... and how this person turns and come and accuse and malign me? its through the mutation and influenced by virus, and these viruses are the one talking non-sensical stuffs and put words into my mouth so as to induce a normal cell to turn malignant haha... get the idea? if dont understand feel free to ask me haha...

Rumours realli spread like malignant cells haha... they have all the ability to metastasize and harm others haha... i am one of the unfortunate one that is harmed haha...

I was just doing my work and was about to write down points that i have asked Dr Chan about the lecture... and wow... a classmate of mine came and confront me haha... frankly speaking i wanna put ur name down... however, out of respect, though you din give me any, i will still keep ur name as anonymous haha... my cliques will noe of cuz haha... and its obvious anyway..

How would the hell I know that you have 5 boyfrens? loll... and why would i bother to be the malignant cells spreading this type of nonsensical stuffs haha... i wont do things that are of no sense, like what you did to me today... and thanks for threatening me ya... i believe whatever you said is captured into our brain... what a photographic memory all of us have had... and what you say will forever instill in our mind and it can be great evidence when things blow up though... should you do anything to me or my fellow frens, be prepared to get locked up and spend ur youthful life in jail... i am serious... get your mind, or source clear before u point your finger towards an innocent soul... i believe you wont want that happen to you either, am i rite?

Of cuz... there are still people saying that i can scold this someone bitch for one month... wow what a mouthful of bitch or bitches i had haha... and do i have to waste my breath on things that i am not involved in? obviously not... a laid-back person like me doesnt need to waste my energy for scolding you bitch for one whole month... unless you are guilty conscious... i believe the module you took in exaggerating sure score a distinction out of it... study hard for other subjects too okie? exaggerating module doesnt increase your GPA...

I noe i might be notorious to some of the groups in vet science... there bound to be people who dont like me haha... nobody is perfect i guess... but i dont mind... i got the love from my dearest frens and this warmth is enough to drown all the sarcasm and hatred by you guys... haha...

Nevertheless, i am not angry at all, just find things abit ridiculous haha...

I am super happy today though... but due to some other things except this haha...

2007-05-07T20:20:00.000+08:00

Absolutely retarded!!!

Well todae i am like a retarded moron who walks around the school with 2 different slippers wahaha... but there is a reason behind it de loll... todae when i went out from my house, i am wearing the correct pair of slippers, both black... but in the lift, i realised that i forget to bring along the microbiology textbook that i promised jeremy, so i went back home to get it... after getting it, i juz wear the slippers, without checking, and then off to school haha...

While in the bus 27 with alex, i feel quite wierd cuz the feeling i have for both my feet is abit different, so i took a glance on my feet... OMG, I WORE 2 DIFFERENT SLIPPERS lolll... heng the whole bus were like damn packed and din realised *i guess lolll...

But well, its too late since i am already in the bus haha... gotta make a joke out of it myself cuz its better than people who realised it and make fun of it lol... but still, i took alot of photos to remember this day... i will never forget wahaha...

At the concourse haha waiting for lesson...

Angelynn pointed shoe (cannot use for interview hor) and my retard action...

Inside the classroom haha...

Inside the cargo lift...

Introducing the latest fashion sense of all... wearing a totally different pair of slippers lolll...

Hope the retarded action of mine todae can help people to relieve their stress lolll...

2007-05-06T22:34:00.000+08:00

Worried and more worries...

My hair is dropping like nobody's business... i am super worried... but what can i do? no money to see doctor for treatment... maybe i will be bald soon... so worrying...

Hair is dropping as if there is no tomorrow,
what can I do to salvage and cure?

Well i am going to be busy soon haha... although this few days i am practically slacking throughout, i still feel that i dont have enough rest... gotta plan my time well... but one thing i have to scold myself is, i hasnt been revising my work yet... wow that dont sounds like hanqun rite? lol... i needa reWise my work liao cuz i wanna get a decent gpa so that it can increase my chance of going to NTU haha...

Saw my new boss yesterday lol... his name is kamal.. a nice guy haha... i am so lucky lol... but supervisor is that annoying normalah, but nvm, i believe i can get used to it and dont let her harm anyone of us haha... somemore i am leaving in august or early september haha.. but gotta ask ms chew how to write a resignation letter lolll...

Alritez i gotta reWise my ahdis 2 later cuz i scare tml got tutorial quiz haha...

Hope i can win later lolll.. cuz i am buying 2 goals for the match of arsenal vs chelsea lol... yesterdae lost 5 bucks so i hope todae can win back haha... good luck to me and kehan...